meditation

Yaay I’ve got a request.

Somebody’s actually reading this. Wow.

Okay. Itwwas just some feedback, no need to get all high and mighty about it.

Yes… no need…to...

I’m famous!

Ahem. Err, sorry about that one.  Let’s get back to what’s really important: you and me.

As I was saying, somebody asked me if i could post some tips on how to meditate.

Frankly you can better ask this to an expert. But as there are so many self proclaimed wise men, wise women or wise miscellaneous, it’s hard to know who to turn to. So I might as well tell you how I see it. Because sometimes the truth will be spoken from the mouth of a fool. Question is: who are you calling a fool?

No matter, let’s talk about how I see things.  Warning: this is a very long post (and no potatoes in the end).

Meditation is not about reaching nirvana (r.i.p. mr. Cobain). Nor is it to achieve levitation , in modern times we have elevators for that.

No. For me meditation is about letting your mind rest for just a moment. In these modern times we are bombarded with impulses. Be it auditory: traffic, sirens,  radio, and… brrrr babies. Visual: TV computer screens, not-so-smartphones, newspapers beautiful people and exploding kittens. The impulses may even be emotional.  And even when we sleep our dreams can disrupt the peace of mind. Which is quite a load to carry, because your mind is the only company you’ll never get rid of. Of course you can turn to mind numbing things to shut it down for just a few moments. But that is a dangerous path to travel. Addictions will always lurk around the corner. So why not try a easier way? One that doesn’t require you to drain your wallet or your sanity.

Let’s take it step by step:

1)

Find a place that is relatively quiet. Absolute silence is hard to find these days, so we’re not going to be too picky. First things first: shut down your mobile phone. The world isn’t going to end in these five or ten minutes. Should it end, then I owe you an apology.

Not everybody can deal with this silence treatment. So if things are too quiet for you, here are a few tips: some turn on the radio and turn through frequencies until they have found the static sound. For those who don’t know static, it goes like this: krrghhhhhtssss. Others focus on the rain that taps the window or put on  a pirated cd of Peruvian flutecakes. Whatever. As far as I’m concerned you can even put up Cradle of Filth if it soothes you. Just keep the volume to a minimum. The idea is to create a relaxing background noise when the silence is too loud for you. Should you wind up in a conga line, then you have picked the wrong music.     

1b

This is not necessary, but some people use incense or other perfumes to help them relax. I can’t really help you on the smelly matters. But I must admit it has something relaxing to watch the smoke twirl up from the embers of an incense stick.

2)

Put yourself in a comfortable position. No, not missionary… meditation works better when you do it alone. Some would fold themselves in the lotus position, the comfortable cow, or the farting monkey. But don’t look too much at how others tie themselves up. Just lie down in bed or drop down in your favourite chair. The point is that YOU feel yourself comfortable. What  ancient yogurt masters used to do, is not really our concern today. Just relax. It’s that simple. If a bodypart of you starts to feel cramped, then find yourself a better position, one with lesser resistance.

2b)

Wear something comfortable (or nothing at all). That itchy woollen sweater wouldn’t be a good choice if you need to relax.  

3) close your eyes.

 There are several ways to start from there. Some people just close their eyes and that’s it: they are relaxed. Others need to have some visual aid to cool down. You can stare at a candle,  a lavalamp, a symbol, or even an idol of your favourite religion. Anything would be fine except pictures of your most wanted boys/girlsband. It really doesn’t matter what it is. Just stare at your visual aid and keep your focus on it: repress all thoughts and only look at the image. Then close your eyes while still keeping that image in mind.

If that doesn’t work, than perhaps this will help. There is a technique I use when I can’t empty my mind (yes ladies, it’s true: guys can think about nothing. It’s perfectly normal).  On my journey in Ireland there was a spot in nature where I lied down and just let the wind blow over me. It was the most relaxed I ever felt. So whenever I need to tame the storms in my head, I think about that place.

4) breathe

This is the most important one. First we have the obvious reason: if you don’t breathe you’ll die. Secondly: meditating is all about breathing. All the previous steps were to put you in a relaxed state of mind. You must have experienced this too: if you’re stressed you will breathe more shallow. So we will go for deep breaths. Without getting too technical: there are two ways to breathe.

One is done by the chest: this is more superficial and consumes more energy. This one isn’t the best way to do it, but hey… at least you are breathing. Good for you.

The second technique goes through the stomach: you use your midriff to push your chest upwards. This gives you more deeper breaths. But let’s not get too technical. There are plenty of sites where you can find more info about it. Besides: even if you used the first breathing technique it will still help a bit. So just focus on your breathing. Just relax. Only the breathing matters.

And for some this will be enough. The meditation process can end here. You are relaxed, what more do you want?
For others there might be a next step.

5) flow of thoughts

As stated in point 4 this isn’t a necessary step. But if you can do it: all the better. Some thoughts, images or feelings will come to mind. Just let them go free. Don’t focus on them, only mind your breathing. It’s a common mistake that you want to grasp the first thought that pops up. Don’t. It’s not a vision, not an epiphany… it’s just a thought. Let it flow past you like the wind. More thoughts will come and go. None of them really matter. Just focus on your breathing and let it all go.

6) wake up (slowly)

When you feel you have done enough, slowly open your eyes. Try to maintain the same pace of breathing. It might be that there will still be a thought stuck in your head. That is the thought that matters. See, you didn’t need to grasp it while you were still in the previous phase. Thoughts will come and go no matter what. Should one stick with you in the end, then it must have some meaning. Feel free to do something with it. Inspiration will not come through burning bushes or chanting angels. Reality is much more simple.

Feeling relaxed? Good. See you next time.

  

words

Hi
there is a chance I don't know you (too well).
But take it from me: you are someone special. The dreams you have, the projects that play in your mind: you have the heart to make them happen.
Some day you are going to make it. And everybody around you will know it.

Why do I say this? Well, because it can be true.
Everybody has potential that still remains untapped. Why? Call it human nature. The instinct to preserve, to stay in the safe spot. We are all holding back.
But that's not what's on discussion today.

Today I am talking about the power of words.
The text you were reading, did it motivate you?
If not, then it might take a few more tries.
But the reason why it has potential, is that I believe in it.
Even if I might not know you (too well)
I firmly believe that what I stated is true.
So it gives some authority.
It might take a few tries. A few fails.
But in the end a message will come through. So pick your words carfully:
they might open a flow of thoughts to someone. Be it for good or for bad.

There was a little anekdote I had with a coworker on the trainride back home.
We were talking about the way our chief communicates with the coworkers.
She has quite a direct way to get her point across. Which sometimes leads to discussions.
I know that her intention is good. Only the message is a bit... What's a better word for  crude?
Anyway.
After a hellish meeting, one where the stress level reached boiling point, I had a chance to talk to her casually. She admitted that it's rough to be a boss when everybody's complaining and shouting.
An argument I certainly can understand.
So I replied: 'it's only natural that the coworkers react like this. They are passionate about their job. They want to do the right thing but circumstances won't allow it. And that's frustrating them. They need to vent it. Because there's nothing as bad for the morale than to know how to do your job, to love it, but to be unable to cope with the (pardon my english) shitstorm that's happening. It's nothing personal. You are working with people. It's the way people are."
Please do keep in mind that I didn't really use the word shitstorm.  Somehow my stream of thoughts is a lot dirtier than my mouth.
Hmm, that came out wrong didn't it?
Ahem.
So she complimented me on my filosophical approach. And that was it. five minutes alter we were on our seperate ways. She to face the shitstorm. And me to conquer the world (while waiting twenty minutes for a bloody train).

Well, my coworker reacted surprised: "That was you? When did you tell her that?!"
me: "ehm, pardon? Oh I guess about a month ago."
coworker: "Some weeks after that, the chef came to me to compliment me on my work and that she understood why I reacted so strongly. I said that I understood her too and that everything was said in the heat of an argument."
Apperantly the other coworkers were dumbstruck by this exchange of kind words.

Long story short(er)
I still believe it wasn't me who gave her that nudge, but my coworker insisted.
She had done a similar way of talking with another chef. And apparently it worked... for a few weeks. But in these few weeks there was a relative peace and tranquility, defusing a bit of the situation.
Because when everybody keeps running around with their fuses lit, things will explode.
Like I said. I still believe it wasn't me. But I do believe in the power of words.
We all have that power. The only question is: how do we deal with such power?

I guess that is why I keep on writing this blog every once and a while.
There is a big chance only you will read this.
But if these words can help you reach your potential, then it will be worth it.

join the (least) resistance

Okay... okay... you've got me cornered :-)
So before starting my next post: please do not remind me of the irony. In my previous post I lectured about not making too much pictures. And behold: it had my picture on it of a person taking a picture of another one taking a picture. Guilty as charged. Well it does prove the point that you won't have to take me too serious. But you already knew that didn't you.

Anyway, on with the show. This is something I need to tell you, before my bad memory claims another victim. A few months ago, seemed like a lifetime already, I had a confersation with someone who could easily qualify as 'smarter than me'. Shocking isn't it? Naah you're right, you won't have to to much to win such a title. But as the saying goes. If you're the smartest one in the room, you are in the wrong room.
She shared an interesting way of viewing life.
"You have to take the way with the least resistance."
Sounds like a lazy way?
No. Wait. Noooh: don't leave just yet... I wasn't finished.
You have to take the way with the least resistance BUT which leads to an optimal result.
So not the fastest way, not the easiest way... the way in which you get what you want (or the closed thing to it, without taking too much of your effort.
Again, I never said that it won't take any effort. Just that it shouldn't take more effort than needed.
Perfection is an illusion. Things will never be perfect, they aren't made to be perfect.
Just chase the thing you want to achieve and make sure it's worth it. But don't go over enourmous lengths to achieve it. If it's fine it's fine. There are many more things that require our already devided attention.

To prove this, I won't proof read this text. Just type in and send. Up to you to decide if it all makes sense. If not, you know where you can find me.

It's too bad that I can't contact the one who gave me the idea. It would be nice to check if  my interpretation is correct. So if you ever read this, oh wise one, feel free to let me know if I'm on the right track. I'm ready for your hatemail :-D  

see you next time

a picture to match

“Woah look everybody.”

“Call the newspapers…”

“He’s baaack!”

No no no, please hold your horses, I’m just passing through.

“Aaaaw”

Yes, I know it’s a shame. Come on, move along. Nothing to see here. Just another promising blog that went up in smoke. Byebye thanks for reading. Have a good one.

Oh you are right we do have to meet up someday. I’ll call you… Bye bye.

Heh… I think they are gone. Nice and quiet now.

Oh hey you. Nice to see you again. Didn’t notice you here. You’re getting quite good in sneaking up on me are you? This may sound cheesy, but do you still come here often?

Yeah I know, I’m here too... every once and a while. It’s hard to say goodbye to this blog. Perhaps it’s not finished yet. Shall we give it another go? No daily, weekly, or monthly update. Just a quick exchange of ideas and then back to our own lives. Would you like that?   

Great, where were we?

Oh don’t mind me browsing my phone. I know it’s anti social, but I’m just looking at a few pictures.

It’s a strange concept, isn’t it? We take pictures for the memories of tomorrow. Some images we show to the world (like foodies, footsies, shelfies and drunkies… yuck). Others we keep for ourselves. The ones that can only have a meaning to one person or to kindred hearts. For some a picture can create an entire story in your head, if only you’d allow to see it: the dragons in the clouds, the smiles behind the masks, the history in a rock formation…

But how long do we glance at those pictures? How many times have you looked at the photo's of your last journey? More and more we live through the eye of a camera. And while we do this, we lose the momentum. Instead of joining in the conga, we take a picture because it would look good on our wall.  But as we look up from our devices, the conga has passed and we are left with only an image. Or maybe we fear that others may snap a picture of us joining in the dance, acting crazy.
Thanks to technology we can connect with all our social circles, no matter where we are, no matter at what time. And still we are more disconnected from right here and right now. Even with me writing this and you reading it; we are both anywhere but here and now. So don’t mind the pictures, mind the crazyness, mind the people... mind the momentum.

See you again dear reader. Someday.

You are here

Hello there, it has been a while hasn’t it?

To be honest I haven’t been feeling myself lately, so instead of writing advice on this blog, I have been following my own. When I felt bad, I allowed myself to cocoon a bit. When I felt better I tried to make most of it with friends, events and writing.  The only problem is of course that when you have limited energy, you can’t use as much as you want to.   Bit still we’re trying. And that takes us to the next post.

You are here

We’ve seen it a lot on maps. And yes, even on the map of life: here you are and here I am.  No matter what happened, what you’ve done or what is going to wait for you in the future: here you are. You made it this far, being on this location, with no doubt: already great accomplishments. For you they might seem insignificant, but that is because you are too close to those projects. Tell anybody else of the things that drive you, the things you have already done. They will be amazed, I’ll guarantee it. Mind you not all accomplishments are falling in the same category: family, friends, money, status… usually we focus too much on the obvious means of success. Nevertheless, here you are. You made it this far and that couldn’t be done without all the effort you’ve put in your life. You might not be on the right place… yet. But the road is still long and you have many great things to encounter. Some paths may be blocked due to your past. But remember that there are still plenty of routes to take, no matter where your destination might be. So every once and a while, when you feel lost: go outside. Go to those city maps and see the message: you are here. Now please take a bow and wave at the camera.

the 6 thoughts of the mind

A coworker handed me these once:

1) make peace with your past, so that it won't cast a shadow on your present.

2) what others think of you is really no concern of yours.

3) time heals almost everything, so take your time every once and a while.

4) no one should be the reason of your own happyness. Only you are responsible.

5) do not compare yourself with others, you have no idea what they have been through.

6) stop thinking everything through. It's not bad a bad thing if you don't know all the answers.


Unfortunately I haven't seen her around lately, so I guess it requires more than 6 tricks to have a good day. Still, we are all living our life the way we think would fit us best. There is no right or wrong way to do it, there is only your own life. Make something out of it, Inspire and be inspired.

ps,
if you miss my humorous remarks in the posts: they will return shortly.
In the meantime allow me to write a joke my sister shared with me (since it's all about sharing)

"a sheep, a drum, and a snake fell down a cliff:
ba dum tss."






hey, don't look at me like this: you asked for it. See you again next week

the final journey

Hey, this is a personal message. It has nothing to do with your wellbeing,
nor with mine. But I thought it would make an interesting story. Believe what you will about it.

Recently my grandfather died. As far as I know, he went peacefully.
But I don't put this story up to prey on your condolences. He had a good age, and I guess for him it will be a final journey into the unknown.

What happened a few weeks ago, that is interesting.

Some time ago, my grandfather asked my father to hide his passport.
He said that people were trying to steal it, and he needed his passport to get to heaven/the afterlife.

A week ago he adressed my father again and asked back his passport. Het told my father that they  wouldn't come to take him. If he could he would walk to heaven himself, but it was beyond reach for the moment.
A few days ago he passed away, I guess they finally came for him.

Again, I have no idea why I share this with you, other than to tell you an interesting story.
Think from it what you will. I'd like to think that he is in a beter place now and that the customs didn't gave him a hard time with his passport.

take care

and untill next week.

M