meditation

Yaay I’ve got a request.

Somebody’s actually reading this. Wow.

Okay. Itwwas just some feedback, no need to get all high and mighty about it.

Yes… no need…to...

I’m famous!

Ahem. Err, sorry about that one.  Let’s get back to what’s really important: you and me.

As I was saying, somebody asked me if i could post some tips on how to meditate.

Frankly you can better ask this to an expert. But as there are so many self proclaimed wise men, wise women or wise miscellaneous, it’s hard to know who to turn to. So I might as well tell you how I see it. Because sometimes the truth will be spoken from the mouth of a fool. Question is: who are you calling a fool?

No matter, let’s talk about how I see things.  Warning: this is a very long post (and no potatoes in the end).

Meditation is not about reaching nirvana (r.i.p. mr. Cobain). Nor is it to achieve levitation , in modern times we have elevators for that.

No. For me meditation is about letting your mind rest for just a moment. In these modern times we are bombarded with impulses. Be it auditory: traffic, sirens,  radio, and… brrrr babies. Visual: TV computer screens, not-so-smartphones, newspapers beautiful people and exploding kittens. The impulses may even be emotional.  And even when we sleep our dreams can disrupt the peace of mind. Which is quite a load to carry, because your mind is the only company you’ll never get rid of. Of course you can turn to mind numbing things to shut it down for just a few moments. But that is a dangerous path to travel. Addictions will always lurk around the corner. So why not try a easier way? One that doesn’t require you to drain your wallet or your sanity.

Let’s take it step by step:

1)

Find a place that is relatively quiet. Absolute silence is hard to find these days, so we’re not going to be too picky. First things first: shut down your mobile phone. The world isn’t going to end in these five or ten minutes. Should it end, then I owe you an apology.

Not everybody can deal with this silence treatment. So if things are too quiet for you, here are a few tips: some turn on the radio and turn through frequencies until they have found the static sound. For those who don’t know static, it goes like this: krrghhhhhtssss. Others focus on the rain that taps the window or put on  a pirated cd of Peruvian flutecakes. Whatever. As far as I’m concerned you can even put up Cradle of Filth if it soothes you. Just keep the volume to a minimum. The idea is to create a relaxing background noise when the silence is too loud for you. Should you wind up in a conga line, then you have picked the wrong music.     

1b

This is not necessary, but some people use incense or other perfumes to help them relax. I can’t really help you on the smelly matters. But I must admit it has something relaxing to watch the smoke twirl up from the embers of an incense stick.

2)

Put yourself in a comfortable position. No, not missionary… meditation works better when you do it alone. Some would fold themselves in the lotus position, the comfortable cow, or the farting monkey. But don’t look too much at how others tie themselves up. Just lie down in bed or drop down in your favourite chair. The point is that YOU feel yourself comfortable. What  ancient yogurt masters used to do, is not really our concern today. Just relax. It’s that simple. If a bodypart of you starts to feel cramped, then find yourself a better position, one with lesser resistance.

2b)

Wear something comfortable (or nothing at all). That itchy woollen sweater wouldn’t be a good choice if you need to relax.  

3) close your eyes.

 There are several ways to start from there. Some people just close their eyes and that’s it: they are relaxed. Others need to have some visual aid to cool down. You can stare at a candle,  a lavalamp, a symbol, or even an idol of your favourite religion. Anything would be fine except pictures of your most wanted boys/girlsband. It really doesn’t matter what it is. Just stare at your visual aid and keep your focus on it: repress all thoughts and only look at the image. Then close your eyes while still keeping that image in mind.

If that doesn’t work, than perhaps this will help. There is a technique I use when I can’t empty my mind (yes ladies, it’s true: guys can think about nothing. It’s perfectly normal).  On my journey in Ireland there was a spot in nature where I lied down and just let the wind blow over me. It was the most relaxed I ever felt. So whenever I need to tame the storms in my head, I think about that place.

4) breathe

This is the most important one. First we have the obvious reason: if you don’t breathe you’ll die. Secondly: meditating is all about breathing. All the previous steps were to put you in a relaxed state of mind. You must have experienced this too: if you’re stressed you will breathe more shallow. So we will go for deep breaths. Without getting too technical: there are two ways to breathe.

One is done by the chest: this is more superficial and consumes more energy. This one isn’t the best way to do it, but hey… at least you are breathing. Good for you.

The second technique goes through the stomach: you use your midriff to push your chest upwards. This gives you more deeper breaths. But let’s not get too technical. There are plenty of sites where you can find more info about it. Besides: even if you used the first breathing technique it will still help a bit. So just focus on your breathing. Just relax. Only the breathing matters.

And for some this will be enough. The meditation process can end here. You are relaxed, what more do you want?
For others there might be a next step.

5) flow of thoughts

As stated in point 4 this isn’t a necessary step. But if you can do it: all the better. Some thoughts, images or feelings will come to mind. Just let them go free. Don’t focus on them, only mind your breathing. It’s a common mistake that you want to grasp the first thought that pops up. Don’t. It’s not a vision, not an epiphany… it’s just a thought. Let it flow past you like the wind. More thoughts will come and go. None of them really matter. Just focus on your breathing and let it all go.

6) wake up (slowly)

When you feel you have done enough, slowly open your eyes. Try to maintain the same pace of breathing. It might be that there will still be a thought stuck in your head. That is the thought that matters. See, you didn’t need to grasp it while you were still in the previous phase. Thoughts will come and go no matter what. Should one stick with you in the end, then it must have some meaning. Feel free to do something with it. Inspiration will not come through burning bushes or chanting angels. Reality is much more simple.

Feeling relaxed? Good. See you next time.

  

You are here

Hello there, it has been a while hasn’t it?

To be honest I haven’t been feeling myself lately, so instead of writing advice on this blog, I have been following my own. When I felt bad, I allowed myself to cocoon a bit. When I felt better I tried to make most of it with friends, events and writing.  The only problem is of course that when you have limited energy, you can’t use as much as you want to.   Bit still we’re trying. And that takes us to the next post.

You are here

We’ve seen it a lot on maps. And yes, even on the map of life: here you are and here I am.  No matter what happened, what you’ve done or what is going to wait for you in the future: here you are. You made it this far, being on this location, with no doubt: already great accomplishments. For you they might seem insignificant, but that is because you are too close to those projects. Tell anybody else of the things that drive you, the things you have already done. They will be amazed, I’ll guarantee it. Mind you not all accomplishments are falling in the same category: family, friends, money, status… usually we focus too much on the obvious means of success. Nevertheless, here you are. You made it this far and that couldn’t be done without all the effort you’ve put in your life. You might not be on the right place… yet. But the road is still long and you have many great things to encounter. Some paths may be blocked due to your past. But remember that there are still plenty of routes to take, no matter where your destination might be. So every once and a while, when you feel lost: go outside. Go to those city maps and see the message: you are here. Now please take a bow and wave at the camera.

Let it go

About a year ago, I talked with a Buddhist monk. I just walked up to him and asked: “excuse me, can I pick your mind for a moment?”

Of course he looked at me funny, for just about a nanosecond. I  guess I have that effect on people. I guess no one really expects me to be straightforward. But I have my moments… sometimes. Anyway, he was happy to indulge me.

As you know one of my perks is to give people advice, whether they like it or not. But I wanted to go further, because sometimes some issues were just too deep. HowHow can you help people, when you don’t know what to say?

His response was the following.

“Internal suffering is a matter of the past. So the best way to help, is to assist them in letting go of that past, instead of clinging on to it. Focus on the now and stop bringing it up.”

This is not a strict rule: sometimes it truly helps to let people ventilate their pain. Sometimes, they don’t want advice they just want to be understood. A listening ear and a caring embrace can sometimes do wonders. But don’t allow it to become caught in a loop. Divert the focus on the nicer things in life. Take them away from the past and gently guide them into the present.
Furthermore, letting go of the past doesn’t mean breaking all contact with the people you once knew and start building up an entire life from scratch. It means stay in touch, without the constant reminders of the past. 
This is not always an easy task, but if you focus too much on what happened, you are deemed to let this past affect all your future decisions, then you’ll miss out many wonderful opportunities. And yes, there is always the danger that history might repeat itself... but on the other hand, sometimes all it takes is one opportunity to break the circle.   

timeshifting

·            -  No I don’t have a copy of the bible.

-             *  Why not?

·           - I don’t read nun fiction

*badum tsss*

Okay, this was officially my worst joke ever. Thanks for enduring it.
The point I was about to make, is that I usually hate non fiction, due to its writing style. 

There is however one book, that I loved reading, and it is also be suitable for this blog/homework.

No worries, I’m not getting a percentage out of it. I just think it was a really nice read.

Time Shifting - Stephan Rechtschaffen

The idea is simple: if you’re anxious you live in the future, if you’re melancholic, you live in the past. But what about living in the present? We all have thousands of toughts in our head (wat we still have to do, what we have done).  All tose thoughts make us forget forget, we are actually doing things right now. And those are the things we are in control of. Right now you can chose to focus on it, to fase out, to do anything you want. If you focus more on it, then you can  accomplish more. 

Even when reading this sentence, you might still be thinking about that lame nun fiction joke, or that there are still so many things you could have been doing instead of wasting your time on this message.  And so we shift from present, to past, to future, without actually seizing the moment.

So how about this: take a deep breath and focus only on these words. Minding your breathing is always important, but on an occasions such as this, it helps you  to find your way back to the present. Because no matter what you do, it deservers your undivided attention. Try to open up all of your senses. Take it in: see, feel, know.
- But what about all those things that still need to be done?
Well, when this post is read, you can chose to focus your attention on that, without thinking back on this horrible nun-pun.

Ahem, anyhow. It’s a bit hard for me to explain the essence of the book, but let me just use mr. Rechtschaffen’s example.

He planned a timshifting session with his students on an exotic location. One day they were supposed to journey to a tropical island nearby. But the boat that was supposed to bring them there didn’t show up. So there was a lot of grunting, and wailing, and looking at wristwatches.
That was actually when the time shifting began.
 Mr R. asked those people to look around. And behold: they were already on an exotic location. So what if the boat wasn’t there yet, so what that they weren’t on that particular island. They were already on an exotic location for f*ck sake (forgive me this censorship), the only thing they had to do was to forget about the schedule and enjoy the moment. That is what timeshifting really is about.

Of course there are times that we have to plan for the future, but even then we tend to get distracted. So when planning, also give it your full attention. This is also a way of timeshifting. And believe me, when you open up to the moment, a lot of opportunities will reveal themselves. Things that were always there, right in front of you, but you were too busy to notice.   

Sorry if this post is a bit different than usual. I improvised with cooking today, so blame it on that ;-)

If there are any questions, I’d be happy to reply. That might make it easier to explain this subject.