black c@s

Heyhey, almost there: the second friday the thirteenth this year is getting near. A good opportunity to test this theory.

Have you ever had the feeling that the world is out to get you? Or perhaps you consider yourself lucky for all the good things that happen to you? 

I’m just making a guess here, so please high and mighty spaghetti monster, don’t smite me for making the following statement:
Don’t rely too much on karma. Good things, bad things… they all happen to anybody. We’ve all had our share of lucky breaks or black cat antics. The only difference is how we view them.

If you focus long enough on the misfortune that tends to stalk you, then you might miss out on how fortunate you actually are. Just try to put things in perspective. Sometimes you might think that happiness only falls upon the people around you, but you have no idea what they have been through to get this far. And neither will anyone know how close you are to achieve your dreams.

I for my part consider myself lucky, even though I have faced my share of broken mirrors, I can’t complain. Good things seem to follow me around. Opportunities, lucky breaks… but there is a risk in thinking this way. 

By deeming yourself (un)lucky you tend to put more weight into things that happen outside your doing. This might result in you staring at the ceiling, just waiting for your next four leaf clover in order to get things going. Truth is (according to me), that you have more power over the things that happen.
For example I consider myself lucky for knowing so many wonderful people, they just happen to cross my path. But is every encounter I have nothing more than coincidence? Probably it’s because of the way I act, that allows some people linger (or others to run away screaming).
Usually those ‘lucky breaks’  happen because we say yes.
Of course, bad things happen too. Sometimes you really are at a the bad place at the worst time. That counts for anybody: the good, the bad, and the fluffy. We can't always navigate ourself out of trouble, but we do have something to say about the course we take after that. The power is yours.

Naturally if I’d get stuck by lightning on the day I win the lottery, just minutes before boarding my flight around the world, then I stand corrected. But until this happens: humor me and think about it.      

one small step

With the previous post in mind I’d like you to think about something.

There is an event in Luxemburg that is called ‘the procession of Echternach’.
It is known for the way how people walk it: two steps forward, and one step back.  

Don’t you sometimes feel the same way? With every progress you make, something pushes you back. At times it just seems too hard to keep on walking against the currents. We’ve all been there. Some give up, while others gnash their teeth and try to keep up the pace.
In order to keep going, we all look up to our fellow people, to role models, characters in a book or a movie,  even to gods. We see their accomplishments and think ‘wow, if only I could be like this’.
 But what we rarely see is their struggle. They too walk against the current. And few people know how many years it took them to get that one single accomplishment done. There are many roads to success. But no matter which one you chose, or how long it will take, it always starts with a single step. And remember: it’s usually just before the finish line that exhaustion and doubts start to act op. So go on, give it just another go. You are almost there.   And even if you don’t notice it. Every small step forwards does help.

does it matter?

We all have our doubts sometimes, especially when we do things with uncertain results.Take this blog for example.  Will people read it and if yes, would they like it? I’m no expert in this line of work, no bachelors degree on mindfulness hangs on my wall. Do people actually care?  Still I keep on writing. Why? Well, you’re reading this, so that already means a lot to me. And who knows maybe you or someone out there really finds comfort in these words. If I can at least reach out to that person, then all this effort will be worth it. One person can make a huge difference; since  everybody is connected with others. So if you are this person, thanks for reading. I’ll do my best for you.

And if you aren’t that person, you can always take a lesson from this: try your best to help at least one person. Make him or her smile. One small effort every day can matter. Because every individual counts.    

is that a squirrel?

With the weekend approaching, perhaps filled with happy sounds of a carnival,  this would be an appropriate time to post this.

Distractions are everywhere. Take it from this easily distracted… hey is that a squirrel? … Ahem, anyhow...  Albeit we succeed in accomplishing our tasks, even if we sometimes ‘bend the deadlines.’

However, every now and then the distractions become too much for us. Some are welcome, while others aren’t. You can ignore it at first, but if the distraction persists, phasing out might become impossible… for the moment. Then it’s up to you to make a choice. Move away from the distractions, or join them. 
Like I said, there are good and bad distractions. If your kid desperately wants to play outside with you, well why don’t you? If the music from the parade just down the street is becoming too loud, why not have a look? If thoughts of one certain person keep you from crunching numbers, why not give him/her a call?

Of course we all have our responsibilities. So please don’t use my mumblings as an excuse to procrastinate even more. And for Jebus’ sake put down your Smartphone or computer. You must have something more important  to do, right? 
 

In order not to end this post with me nagging away, I’ll leave you with this thought:

When there’s too much noise to sleep or work: join the party, and be the last one who leaves it. Have fun.

And here’s a quote from my number one romantic movie:

All work and no play make Jack a dull guy. All work and no play make Jack a dull guy. All work and no play make Jack a dull guy. All work and no play make Jack a dull guy. All work and no play make Jack a dull guy. All work and no play make Jack a dull guy. All work and no play make Jack a dull guy… 

schedules

Heyhey… hay… ugh… bloody hay fever.

True, I would love to do something different right now; anything but writing a blog. Something like lying down cozy under a warm blanket, with a hot drink, and slowly dissolve into the land of dreams… Just before the snotflood is about to erupt.

But, I made a deal: every day I must post a message for this blog (except in the weekend… results may vary then). So here we are again. 
This message is more or less for me right now, but feel free to take it in anyway (not the snot by the way).  

*Ahem* Do not focus too much on a rigorous schedule. Every day offers an opportunity to make progress, no matter how little.

I can’t remember if I said this already or not, but here it goes anyway:

If you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, crawl. And if you can’t crawl? Make yourself comfortable and enjoy your day off. Sometimes the greatest ideas come when you least expect them. Just don’t slack down too much. Because we all know how quickly we can let a ‘meh’ feeling last for days. Progress will happen one way or the other. Be ready for it.

Now if anybody of you out there is skilled in giving a head massage, I’ll be happy to receive one. If not, then carry on your business and don’t mind the blobs of sneeze on this side of the screen. 

the people's list (part two)

Welcome back, did you get dizzy by reading the big list? 

Cool, since you’re still here that means you are intrigued, just as I expected you to be.

PEOPLE (part two)

5         Ask a random person if he/she can learn you something.
Or suggest if he/she can show it you. You can even ask if you are allowed to tag along for just a brief period. Every person has a certain set of skills; things they do with a natural ease. Learn from them. You might not entirely grasp that skill, but it can be an interesting experience. So don’t mind the laughter, everybody had to start at that point. And the more you walk in other people’s shoes, the more your own world opens up.

6         Help people without giving them money (or expecting it).

Money is tricky: it (usually) requires little effort to change hands, and offers a rather impersonal solution. Instead, why not lend a hand? Perhaps your specific skill or knowledge is just the thing they need. And gratitude can go further than just some ‘paperwork’. Do keep in mind though to choose your ‘battles’ wisely. You can’t help everybody. But every once and a while a shoulder to cry on, or to know the right person, or that nugget of advice can do wonders. 

7         No matter how hardworking you are, everybody needs a break.

 This is the perfect opportunity to sit next to a co-worker you haven’t talked to in a while. Ask if you’re not interrupting and start talking/listening. Sometimes you’ll be amazed how much you have in common with someone without knowing it. Why? Because usually we only talk about work or things we’ve seen on the news. Pick another subject. But remember that the workplace is a strange environment: be wary about gossip.

8         Never think about how you look, or how others might see you.

This is just your perception and imagination talking. The truth is that you can never tell how people really think about you. Besides, your image is subjected to change anyway: internally and externally. So why cram yourself into a pose that might as well do the opposite as you intended? You look best when your apparel and behavior comes naturally. Of course if you are a couch potato like me, well, then it might be best to start living more healthy. And yes, I know: the ‘real you’ might scare off a crowd. But it will as well attract the people you feel most comfortable with. Think about who you are and what you have already accomplished. Be proud.

9         Enjoy, smile, reach out and be reached. LOOK!
Mind the details and use them to make conversations go smooth. In the beginning it will be hard, but after a while, things will feel more natural.  And there always are places, people, or mindsets where you can connect more easily, start there and expand your territory.

Hey, you made it through the list. There’s one more coming up, but I’ll publish that one within a few days. Because life isn’t all about following guidelines and lists. Although they might offer something to hold on to. If however, these things come natural for you, by all means, find your own way. It’s usually more fun to do these discoveries first hand. 

the people's list (part one)

Oh hey; here you are. How’s it going?

This might be a good time to warn you: there is another list coming up, and it’s a big one. Just like the list of exploring, I’ll present you a few pointers to keep up the buzz. This time the focus is on people. 

Please keep in mind, that these lists are not obligatory. Neither shall I claim that they change your life forever. These outlines are just made from personal notes I took during my journey. Insights I like to share with you. Anyhow, on to the subject: 

PEOPLE (part one)

1)         Talk/meet with someone you haven’t seen in a while.
How many times haven’t you communicated with somebody (by internet, or phone), having a great time and ending with the sentence: we should definitely meet up (again) some time.
Some time… you know where this is going, right?
Why not actually plan and set a date to meet?
Or how many times haven’t you thought: gee, I wonder how person x is doing?
Well, why not give a call? The worst you can end up with is a wasted day (or an answering machine). The best: a rekindled friendship. So don’t assume already that they’d say no, or are too busy for you. Because even if they do, you can always suggest another day to meet. True, sometimes there is a reason why you don’t see face to face anymore. Or maybe it really is impossible to arrange something. But come on: that’s just one person in your entire contact history. Plenty more where those came from.  Speaking of contact history: how many facebook friends do you have? How long has it been since you saw them last? Time to meet him, her, or them irl at least once more.
Oh, they have children now; so what? Be the first one to teach those tiny humans dirty words, or show them how to propel milk from your nose. Hell, why don't you teach me those things?

2)         Pimp your contacts: get more freaky friends.
How?  Ask to be introduced to new people.
Then again: who needs asking, when the internet is full of freaky friends :-)
Freaky friends? Hmm, I guess a little explanation is needed. I’ve got that word from Tom Peters. Basically, that’s how he calls people with unconventional ideas, big dreams, and an interesting way to look at things. Because admit it, sometimes we all tune in to hear those unusual conversations between ‘freaky’ friends.
But what about the others? Should you abandon all your 'normal' friends, just to be dragged along on a crazy misadventure? Of course not, but why not have the best of both worlds? I know for sure that there is a synergy between those two types of people, up to you to discover it.   

3)         Talk to random people.
Try to keep up the conversation as long as possible, ask people what thrives/drives them, what is their goal, their passion. Don’t intervene: let them talk, just listen. Mind the spark in their eyes when they talk about things that make them who they are.
How? It all starts with wone simple word: 'hi' perhaps followed by 'how are you doing?' True, getting those lines from a stranger might freak some people out. But others are waiting for that simple word.
But how, who? Usually the answer is in the details: do you notice something about these persons? Is there a hint that can start a conversation? Start fishing. And most importantly: listen.
Okay, I admit, this one is really hard for me too. And scouts honour, I will start talking to random people,  just when I can find myself a bit more c-c-c-ccourage. 

Anyhow, look at it this way: we are surrounded by people. Every day we wait in line, sit in a train, fart in the elevator, work our asses off in a company full of people we don’t really know. At best we nod when we pass (at worst they pinch their noses). But we often wonder: what is this person thinking? should I talk to him or her?
In the end our lips remain sealed. Silently cursing another missed opportunity.
And yet, when we’re on a holiday, things are different. Abroad I try to chat up with everybody.
How come? Are people at home more narrow minded? Definitely not. There were times when I had vivid conversations at home, on the train, at work… and you could see other people leaning in to listen, eager to open their mouth, ready to join in. What if we let them? Break the barriers.

4)         Bring the conversation to the core: it’s all about fun or topics with a deeper meaning.

When the conversation starts, slowly steer it away from the safe subjects (work, the weather, family) and reel it into new exciting topics. People are just as bored as we are by the same old safe subjects, we all wait for the bait, to say what really goes on in that head of ours. Ask cheeky questions and have an interesting opinion. Say something you’ve always wanted to say. Worst case scenario? The person might get offended.
So what? I have experienced many regrets not asking people what really inspires them; the results could have been breath taking.

Phew halfway down the ‘people’ list. How about we have a breather. I’ll see you for the other half, right after these commercials.