meditation

Yaay I’ve got a request.

Somebody’s actually reading this. Wow.

Okay. Itwwas just some feedback, no need to get all high and mighty about it.

Yes… no need…to...

I’m famous!

Ahem. Err, sorry about that one.  Let’s get back to what’s really important: you and me.

As I was saying, somebody asked me if i could post some tips on how to meditate.

Frankly you can better ask this to an expert. But as there are so many self proclaimed wise men, wise women or wise miscellaneous, it’s hard to know who to turn to. So I might as well tell you how I see it. Because sometimes the truth will be spoken from the mouth of a fool. Question is: who are you calling a fool?

No matter, let’s talk about how I see things.  Warning: this is a very long post (and no potatoes in the end).

Meditation is not about reaching nirvana (r.i.p. mr. Cobain). Nor is it to achieve levitation , in modern times we have elevators for that.

No. For me meditation is about letting your mind rest for just a moment. In these modern times we are bombarded with impulses. Be it auditory: traffic, sirens,  radio, and… brrrr babies. Visual: TV computer screens, not-so-smartphones, newspapers beautiful people and exploding kittens. The impulses may even be emotional.  And even when we sleep our dreams can disrupt the peace of mind. Which is quite a load to carry, because your mind is the only company you’ll never get rid of. Of course you can turn to mind numbing things to shut it down for just a few moments. But that is a dangerous path to travel. Addictions will always lurk around the corner. So why not try a easier way? One that doesn’t require you to drain your wallet or your sanity.

Let’s take it step by step:

1)

Find a place that is relatively quiet. Absolute silence is hard to find these days, so we’re not going to be too picky. First things first: shut down your mobile phone. The world isn’t going to end in these five or ten minutes. Should it end, then I owe you an apology.

Not everybody can deal with this silence treatment. So if things are too quiet for you, here are a few tips: some turn on the radio and turn through frequencies until they have found the static sound. For those who don’t know static, it goes like this: krrghhhhhtssss. Others focus on the rain that taps the window or put on  a pirated cd of Peruvian flutecakes. Whatever. As far as I’m concerned you can even put up Cradle of Filth if it soothes you. Just keep the volume to a minimum. The idea is to create a relaxing background noise when the silence is too loud for you. Should you wind up in a conga line, then you have picked the wrong music.     

1b

This is not necessary, but some people use incense or other perfumes to help them relax. I can’t really help you on the smelly matters. But I must admit it has something relaxing to watch the smoke twirl up from the embers of an incense stick.

2)

Put yourself in a comfortable position. No, not missionary… meditation works better when you do it alone. Some would fold themselves in the lotus position, the comfortable cow, or the farting monkey. But don’t look too much at how others tie themselves up. Just lie down in bed or drop down in your favourite chair. The point is that YOU feel yourself comfortable. What  ancient yogurt masters used to do, is not really our concern today. Just relax. It’s that simple. If a bodypart of you starts to feel cramped, then find yourself a better position, one with lesser resistance.

2b)

Wear something comfortable (or nothing at all). That itchy woollen sweater wouldn’t be a good choice if you need to relax.  

3) close your eyes.

 There are several ways to start from there. Some people just close their eyes and that’s it: they are relaxed. Others need to have some visual aid to cool down. You can stare at a candle,  a lavalamp, a symbol, or even an idol of your favourite religion. Anything would be fine except pictures of your most wanted boys/girlsband. It really doesn’t matter what it is. Just stare at your visual aid and keep your focus on it: repress all thoughts and only look at the image. Then close your eyes while still keeping that image in mind.

If that doesn’t work, than perhaps this will help. There is a technique I use when I can’t empty my mind (yes ladies, it’s true: guys can think about nothing. It’s perfectly normal).  On my journey in Ireland there was a spot in nature where I lied down and just let the wind blow over me. It was the most relaxed I ever felt. So whenever I need to tame the storms in my head, I think about that place.

4) breathe

This is the most important one. First we have the obvious reason: if you don’t breathe you’ll die. Secondly: meditating is all about breathing. All the previous steps were to put you in a relaxed state of mind. You must have experienced this too: if you’re stressed you will breathe more shallow. So we will go for deep breaths. Without getting too technical: there are two ways to breathe.

One is done by the chest: this is more superficial and consumes more energy. This one isn’t the best way to do it, but hey… at least you are breathing. Good for you.

The second technique goes through the stomach: you use your midriff to push your chest upwards. This gives you more deeper breaths. But let’s not get too technical. There are plenty of sites where you can find more info about it. Besides: even if you used the first breathing technique it will still help a bit. So just focus on your breathing. Just relax. Only the breathing matters.

And for some this will be enough. The meditation process can end here. You are relaxed, what more do you want?
For others there might be a next step.

5) flow of thoughts

As stated in point 4 this isn’t a necessary step. But if you can do it: all the better. Some thoughts, images or feelings will come to mind. Just let them go free. Don’t focus on them, only mind your breathing. It’s a common mistake that you want to grasp the first thought that pops up. Don’t. It’s not a vision, not an epiphany… it’s just a thought. Let it flow past you like the wind. More thoughts will come and go. None of them really matter. Just focus on your breathing and let it all go.

6) wake up (slowly)

When you feel you have done enough, slowly open your eyes. Try to maintain the same pace of breathing. It might be that there will still be a thought stuck in your head. That is the thought that matters. See, you didn’t need to grasp it while you were still in the previous phase. Thoughts will come and go no matter what. Should one stick with you in the end, then it must have some meaning. Feel free to do something with it. Inspiration will not come through burning bushes or chanting angels. Reality is much more simple.

Feeling relaxed? Good. See you next time.

  

words

Hi
there is a chance I don't know you (too well).
But take it from me: you are someone special. The dreams you have, the projects that play in your mind: you have the heart to make them happen.
Some day you are going to make it. And everybody around you will know it.

Why do I say this? Well, because it can be true.
Everybody has potential that still remains untapped. Why? Call it human nature. The instinct to preserve, to stay in the safe spot. We are all holding back.
But that's not what's on discussion today.

Today I am talking about the power of words.
The text you were reading, did it motivate you?
If not, then it might take a few more tries.
But the reason why it has potential, is that I believe in it.
Even if I might not know you (too well)
I firmly believe that what I stated is true.
So it gives some authority.
It might take a few tries. A few fails.
But in the end a message will come through. So pick your words carfully:
they might open a flow of thoughts to someone. Be it for good or for bad.

There was a little anekdote I had with a coworker on the trainride back home.
We were talking about the way our chief communicates with the coworkers.
She has quite a direct way to get her point across. Which sometimes leads to discussions.
I know that her intention is good. Only the message is a bit... What's a better word for  crude?
Anyway.
After a hellish meeting, one where the stress level reached boiling point, I had a chance to talk to her casually. She admitted that it's rough to be a boss when everybody's complaining and shouting.
An argument I certainly can understand.
So I replied: 'it's only natural that the coworkers react like this. They are passionate about their job. They want to do the right thing but circumstances won't allow it. And that's frustrating them. They need to vent it. Because there's nothing as bad for the morale than to know how to do your job, to love it, but to be unable to cope with the (pardon my english) shitstorm that's happening. It's nothing personal. You are working with people. It's the way people are."
Please do keep in mind that I didn't really use the word shitstorm.  Somehow my stream of thoughts is a lot dirtier than my mouth.
Hmm, that came out wrong didn't it?
Ahem.
So she complimented me on my filosophical approach. And that was it. five minutes alter we were on our seperate ways. She to face the shitstorm. And me to conquer the world (while waiting twenty minutes for a bloody train).

Well, my coworker reacted surprised: "That was you? When did you tell her that?!"
me: "ehm, pardon? Oh I guess about a month ago."
coworker: "Some weeks after that, the chef came to me to compliment me on my work and that she understood why I reacted so strongly. I said that I understood her too and that everything was said in the heat of an argument."
Apperantly the other coworkers were dumbstruck by this exchange of kind words.

Long story short(er)
I still believe it wasn't me who gave her that nudge, but my coworker insisted.
She had done a similar way of talking with another chef. And apparently it worked... for a few weeks. But in these few weeks there was a relative peace and tranquility, defusing a bit of the situation.
Because when everybody keeps running around with their fuses lit, things will explode.
Like I said. I still believe it wasn't me. But I do believe in the power of words.
We all have that power. The only question is: how do we deal with such power?

I guess that is why I keep on writing this blog every once and a while.
There is a big chance only you will read this.
But if these words can help you reach your potential, then it will be worth it.

join the (least) resistance

Okay... okay... you've got me cornered :-)
So before starting my next post: please do not remind me of the irony. In my previous post I lectured about not making too much pictures. And behold: it had my picture on it of a person taking a picture of another one taking a picture. Guilty as charged. Well it does prove the point that you won't have to take me too serious. But you already knew that didn't you.

Anyway, on with the show. This is something I need to tell you, before my bad memory claims another victim. A few months ago, seemed like a lifetime already, I had a confersation with someone who could easily qualify as 'smarter than me'. Shocking isn't it? Naah you're right, you won't have to to much to win such a title. But as the saying goes. If you're the smartest one in the room, you are in the wrong room.
She shared an interesting way of viewing life.
"You have to take the way with the least resistance."
Sounds like a lazy way?
No. Wait. Noooh: don't leave just yet... I wasn't finished.
You have to take the way with the least resistance BUT which leads to an optimal result.
So not the fastest way, not the easiest way... the way in which you get what you want (or the closed thing to it, without taking too much of your effort.
Again, I never said that it won't take any effort. Just that it shouldn't take more effort than needed.
Perfection is an illusion. Things will never be perfect, they aren't made to be perfect.
Just chase the thing you want to achieve and make sure it's worth it. But don't go over enourmous lengths to achieve it. If it's fine it's fine. There are many more things that require our already devided attention.

To prove this, I won't proof read this text. Just type in and send. Up to you to decide if it all makes sense. If not, you know where you can find me.

It's too bad that I can't contact the one who gave me the idea. It would be nice to check if  my interpretation is correct. So if you ever read this, oh wise one, feel free to let me know if I'm on the right track. I'm ready for your hatemail :-D  

see you next time

You are here

Hello there, it has been a while hasn’t it?

To be honest I haven’t been feeling myself lately, so instead of writing advice on this blog, I have been following my own. When I felt bad, I allowed myself to cocoon a bit. When I felt better I tried to make most of it with friends, events and writing.  The only problem is of course that when you have limited energy, you can’t use as much as you want to.   Bit still we’re trying. And that takes us to the next post.

You are here

We’ve seen it a lot on maps. And yes, even on the map of life: here you are and here I am.  No matter what happened, what you’ve done or what is going to wait for you in the future: here you are. You made it this far, being on this location, with no doubt: already great accomplishments. For you they might seem insignificant, but that is because you are too close to those projects. Tell anybody else of the things that drive you, the things you have already done. They will be amazed, I’ll guarantee it. Mind you not all accomplishments are falling in the same category: family, friends, money, status… usually we focus too much on the obvious means of success. Nevertheless, here you are. You made it this far and that couldn’t be done without all the effort you’ve put in your life. You might not be on the right place… yet. But the road is still long and you have many great things to encounter. Some paths may be blocked due to your past. But remember that there are still plenty of routes to take, no matter where your destination might be. So every once and a while, when you feel lost: go outside. Go to those city maps and see the message: you are here. Now please take a bow and wave at the camera.

the 6 thoughts of the mind

A coworker handed me these once:

1) make peace with your past, so that it won't cast a shadow on your present.

2) what others think of you is really no concern of yours.

3) time heals almost everything, so take your time every once and a while.

4) no one should be the reason of your own happyness. Only you are responsible.

5) do not compare yourself with others, you have no idea what they have been through.

6) stop thinking everything through. It's not bad a bad thing if you don't know all the answers.


Unfortunately I haven't seen her around lately, so I guess it requires more than 6 tricks to have a good day. Still, we are all living our life the way we think would fit us best. There is no right or wrong way to do it, there is only your own life. Make something out of it, Inspire and be inspired.

ps,
if you miss my humorous remarks in the posts: they will return shortly.
In the meantime allow me to write a joke my sister shared with me (since it's all about sharing)

"a sheep, a drum, and a snake fell down a cliff:
ba dum tss."






hey, don't look at me like this: you asked for it. See you again next week

accomplishments

It is better to regret a choice of life, while following your passions, than to look back and always wonder why you didn't take your chances.

About a week ago  I've talked to my uncle. He's an independant worker and someone i'm starting to apreciate more as I grow older. I guess some wisdom can only be taught in time, and through experience... be it good or bad.

My uncle is a man with a clear vision.
he knew what he wanted to do.
As he said:

"When I got married, the combined capital of both me and my wife was 20 euros.
The day I told people I was going to become an independant plumber, I got a shitstorm of critique. But I knew it was something I had to do. And so I got things started.
The day my son was born, I told myself: 
whenever he gets married, I'll drive him to church in a genuine oldtimer.
So I worked hard. I made my mistakes, but I learned from them. I took my time off when needed, but I always had the endgame in mind. When opportunity knocked I let it in, no matte if friends and family had better things to do."

Personal note: keep my previous post in mind: it is a good thing to have goals, passions, and purpose. But do not work yourself to death. Having priorities is one thing, letting the whole world pass you by is another. My uncle also enjoyed life when he had the chance.
And you know what?
a few years ago he did it.
He fuckin' drove his son to the wedding chapel with his very own oldtimer.

Of course for every succes story there is another tale of someone who crashed and burned.
But if you really have your mind set on something. If you do the things you are passionate about, then there is no failure, only opportunities to learn

good luck out there

- writer out,
I have some more stories to create -

M

carpe diem

Today I'm talking to you about seizing the moment. True, you might have already reead a similar subject. But there is no harm in repeating, right? Otherwise you can just stop reading... come on, I challenge you. Stop reading...

Still here? good. As I was saying, it'll do you some good to seize the moment every so often. If opportunities rise why not have a look? For example on social events, festivities,...
There are times when we honestly ask ourselves: why should I attend this event/party/... I'm in no mood to see people. My answer: give it a try anyway. You can sulk at home or you can sulk amoung people. At least there you'll have opportunities.

BUT

Yes, there is a very big but
(heheh,I wrote 'a very big butt')

There is something called balace:

If you seize every opportunity they throw at you, you'll might end up exhausted and burned out.
Unfortunately I experienced this myself. There has to be some moderation. Look at yourself and think: what has my priority? And also: am I not stuck in a vicious circle, doing the same things over and over again, without any chance of progress?
But if you are in a rut, and if you know that today won't be any good whatsoever, then why not go outside, meet some friends, do something crazy.. It can only get better.

So think big, live fast,
but don't forget to take a brake every now and then.
There is much wisdom in the things that tranquility can offer.
Like I said: it's all about balance.

Your weekly exercise

A few days ago I talked to someone who is practicing the Ramadan.  She told me that there was more to it than just fasting during the day and feasting during the night. The essential idea was to stop doing things that were harmful to mind and body. So it was not just going cold turkey on cigarettes, alcohol etc. But also to refrain from gossip and cursing. And most importantly: to reflect on the things you are doing wrong in your life, on the harmful things you inflict upon yourself and others. And especially this last part that I find worth trying out myself.

Because when we feel bad we usually tend to go for the quick solutions. Things/habits that make us happy for just a few moments. At that moment we don’t care if it’s healthy, as long as it makes the bad feeling go away. 

So why won’t you have this exercise with me? Instead of wasting time for half an hour, we close our eyes, take a deep breath and reflect on the things that prevent us from living life at its fullest. What are the causes? How can we solve it without using the quick fix? You are a smart person, deep inside you know the answers. Everything starts with a healthy mind, the rest will follow.

The sound of silence

Oh hi there.

I haven’t got much to say today… or the past week, as you might have noticed. But don't worry, I haven’t forgotten about you. It’s just that sometimes when someone has nothing to say, he/she might do good to remain silent and listen or reflect instead of just talk for the sake of talking. There is already too much nonsense in this world, when some take the freedom of speech for granted. Sometimes there is a lot of power to be found in silence. But you don’t want to hear all about that, do you? Nah, you want to hear wisdom, mindfulness and things that soothe the mind.
So why not let others speak? Take a moment to let it sink in. I don’t know who the original authors are, but I guess it’s not that important who said it, rather then what it does to you. Enjoy.

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about dancing in the rain."

"In this great future you can forget your past."

"Follow the white rabbit. You may never catch it, but i twill take you to some amazing places."

"The ball won’t roll if you don’t kick it."

"Better be someone for just a day than to be no one for a lifetime."

"Sometimes all you need is a bit of imagination."

"Enjoy the abundance of life!"

be prepared

You’ll notice that I occasionally I skip my daily update for this blog. Am I therefore untrustworthy and inconsistent? Of course not... wèèèèll maybe a little bit.  But as you know I made this blog for you, I want to give you my best lines, instead of trying to spew bulk advice just to get my daily quota. Naturally there is a little risk that I may repeat myself from time to time. If this entertains you, no problem. On the other hand, if I start to sound like a senile old duck then please feel free to tell me so.
This blog has a strange synergy: part of it is planned, while other stories just become posted in the heat of the moment. That reminds me to put the focus of today on the following subject: preparations

As with everything you plan to do: preparations will get you far, but they aren’t your main concern.

Make your work the same way you travel: make plans to get where you need to be, draw out some side notes and points of interest. But go with the flow, take your time. Don’t be afraid to end up in different places. Enjoy the journey, not the destination. And  by all means take the occasional risk, there is so much more to experience to gain if you get out of that safe seat every now and then.

I guess the blog also has this way of working.  

Come with your mind open and you’ll leave with your heart full (or was it the other way around?)

a clothing thing

According to a book I once read, humankind was supposed to be naked. Until of course somebody took a bite out of an apple-product, thanks a lot Eve.

Ever since then people wear clothes. Some use it to protect themselves against the elements: winter jackets, woolen Speedos, hats and caps…

Others wear uniforms to distinctively belong to a certain group, this sometimes comes with its own advantages and obligations. 

Clothing has its practical use, there’s no deny of it. But have you ever thought about clothing as a way of expressing yourself? Instead of a way to camouflage yourself into a certain group, your clothes can be an extension of your personality. The better you make your pick, the more it can be a way of guiding people towards you. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just get something that catches the eye, and underlines an aspect about who you really are.

As a great example: someone used patches and colorful fabrics and attached them to her blazer. Everytime I had written a story, a new patch would be stitched on the blazer. It was amazing how much compliments she got with it. And every compliment offered an opportunity to chat with the 'admireres'   

But it doesn't have to go that far. Buy clothes that define you: your favorite band, a country you visited, a funny quote… give people something to talk about. Always wear the brands you like. There might be 1.000 people who won’t recognize your Ramones t-shirt, but there will always be at least one who will.

Body and soul

Following the line of thought on my  previous post, you can say that in order to keep a healthy mind, you’ll also have to take care of your body. Life is about balance. Think about it: taking a shower and putting on your good clothes just because you feel like it can already do wonders. But there is more to it. Our body is capable of many wonderful things (I won’t be too graphic about it, you’ll probably use your dirty imagination anyway). We are not meant to sit idly. That’s why whenever you feel in a pickle, try working out. Yes I know, who am I to say you have to exercise. I only train once a week. But it does feel good. No matter what I have on my mind, it all fades away when I am busy. 
Even though sport will not solve all your problems, it gives you a way of getting away from your thoughts for a moment. Plus, the adrenaline you feel afterward might give your spirit the boost it needs to tackle things practically. Don’t want to go out alone? Drag somebody with you, he or she will be thankful for it… eventually.
So if you find yourself, or anybody else, in a slump, take it outside and move those muscles.   

scar tissue

I know something about you… you have a scar on your knee.
If right now you gasp and wonder how I know this: a lot of people have a scar like that, since falling on our knees is more common than we think. Some even get an arrow to the knee (sorry for this outdated joke).  That’s why some fortunetellers will use this fact to prove they can ‘really’ see the unexplained.  But since the supernatural isn’t really my turf, let’s get back to the scar issue.

 We all have scars, things from the past that changed our appearance.  Some are small and unseen, sometimes even unnoticed. While others might even affect the way you behave.
A personal example? If ever you have the honor/horror to see me topless:  you can still see a small line on the skin above my collarbone. While the scar is almost gone, the metal spike underneath it still remains. That spike was meant to keep the broken bone on its place. And while it has long served, it still remains as a part of me. In the beginning it changed my life drastically: the slightest touch of that area caused great pain. I became more cautious and avoided everything that might hint a danger of direct contact. As time passed I returned to my old habits and even took more chances: roller coasters,  cliff jumping, festivals… Although you won’t see me crowd surfing any time soon now.

The same thing goes with your inner scars.

 An experience might have hurt you so deeply that is has left a scar on your soul. In the beginning you’ll mostly remind the pain, and everything that gets near you will cause some kind of a reaction. Later on you’ll try to move on and pick up your normal way of life. The beginning is always the hardest part. You are suspicious of everything that has a hint of hurting you. Though as time passes you’ll eventually return to your normal way of experiencing life. It is true that the scar will still remind you time and again about the injury, and perhaps you’ll be more cautious in similar situations. But in the end it won’t affect you as much as you initially feared.  The cliché is often true: time can heal all wounds. So no matter which discomfort you might experience, whether it is physical or mental. You will still be you. And the pain will subside.

Side note: in some cases, when the pain is deeper, a full recovery will not always be in order. But still time will teach you how to return to a similar way of living. The things that make you who you are, will always find a way to submerge. Have faith in it. 

Bucket time

You know what time it is?

Bucket time!

You probably heard about this concept: a bucket list. 

If you haven’t, it’s a list you make for yourself (or copy from the internet) containing all the things you want to do before a certain time; e.g. before you’re becoming an adult (not applicable to yours truly), before  getting married, before spawning children, before you reach the age of 30-40, before you’re getting too old for this shit.
So there is a deadline, but it isn’t yet in the nearby future, allowing you to take your time to achieve some great dreams.

Following this theory: “I have to buy double glazed windows before the next time I shave my legs,” is NOT a good item for your bucket list (and again not applicable to yours truly).

Now, why would you start a bucket list (if you haven’t already)?

Well, life is short. We are capable of so many things, we have so many dreams that are realizable if you just put your mind to it. Listing those dreams down , offers a  solid first step in getting those them realized.  One of the next steps is telling other people what you have in mind, gain their support, and maybe even a helping hand. 
Imagine how amazing would it be if you actually achieve one of those accomplishments.

A second rule of bucket listing, is to never erase any entry of your list. Because it doesn’t mean that when  your dream seems stupid or infantile at the moment, that it can’t or won’t be achieved in a later stage. Besides, nothing feels so satisfying as to mark an entry on that list as ‘achieved’.

I already had the honor of marking much of my entries. But there are some that are still open. Don’t worry,  I won’t share all of them with you. Let’s just give you a glimpse, who knows you can help me with it.

The main reason I do this, is to inspire you to do the same. Heck, I fucking challenge you to do it.
feel free to put your list in the comments section, perhaps I can even throw in a few tips.  

Part of my bucket:

Get one of my  books published (for starters)
If the book gets enough readers: get a tattoo of it (this would be my first).
Shave my head (just to see how it looks)
learn to play the electric guitar
be at new Orleans’ mardi grass
work for the gaming industry (close call, but not yet achieved)
act in a horror movie
take over the world
 Attend a real American home party
get a real old fashioned oak writing desk.
sword fighting (with real steel)
fire a gun/rifle
driving a quad/trike
wild water rafting
experience crossing the desert (perhaps by camel)
experience weightlessness in space.
be at Oktoberfest in Munich
swim with sharks
participate in a huge food fight
mud soccer
partycrashing a wedding
do the transseberian express
go to Argentina
go to Vietnam

Let it go

About a year ago, I talked with a Buddhist monk. I just walked up to him and asked: “excuse me, can I pick your mind for a moment?”

Of course he looked at me funny, for just about a nanosecond. I  guess I have that effect on people. I guess no one really expects me to be straightforward. But I have my moments… sometimes. Anyway, he was happy to indulge me.

As you know one of my perks is to give people advice, whether they like it or not. But I wanted to go further, because sometimes some issues were just too deep. HowHow can you help people, when you don’t know what to say?

His response was the following.

“Internal suffering is a matter of the past. So the best way to help, is to assist them in letting go of that past, instead of clinging on to it. Focus on the now and stop bringing it up.”

This is not a strict rule: sometimes it truly helps to let people ventilate their pain. Sometimes, they don’t want advice they just want to be understood. A listening ear and a caring embrace can sometimes do wonders. But don’t allow it to become caught in a loop. Divert the focus on the nicer things in life. Take them away from the past and gently guide them into the present.
Furthermore, letting go of the past doesn’t mean breaking all contact with the people you once knew and start building up an entire life from scratch. It means stay in touch, without the constant reminders of the past. 
This is not always an easy task, but if you focus too much on what happened, you are deemed to let this past affect all your future decisions, then you’ll miss out many wonderful opportunities. And yes, there is always the danger that history might repeat itself... but on the other hand, sometimes all it takes is one opportunity to break the circle.   

family ties

“Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.” – Monty Burns

Sorry, I couldn’t resist putting this up here. Although this quote is so horribly wrong, it is still funny.

…

But as always, there is some truth in it, depending how you look at it. Although friends and family are the life force you need to keep on living, some might hold you back. Don’t worry, I’m not a crazy cult leader that tells you to leave everything behind (although I find it quite tempting to take on that job ;-)

I just want to express that most  friends and family will often suggest you to follow the safe path. They like you to succeed in something solid, something that will offer a good future. And, don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that. It might even say that they care about you. 

But that easy path might limit your potential. Of course what good is living life on the wild side if you don’t have the means to support yourself, burning every euro you have on crazy projects? So I guess the route to follow lies somewhere in between. Just flip a coin every once and a while. But no matter which way you chose to go, remember that the roads less traveled might be a thousand times more interesting. How would you know if you won’t try it?  

This requires guts. But you do have it in you: you’ve got a stomach, intestines… all the nice gooey bits. So use it every once and a while. Go for gut, go for glory. And don’t forget to tell me a nice juicy story about it.   

mattresses

This is just an observation I made. It has nothing to do with the normal posts on this blog. But since there is no sensorsheep here, I can write whatever I want, behold: chimichangas

Anyway

Thanks to modern day technology, traveling has become easier. Digital camera’s or smartphones can show you immediately which one of your thousand shelfies looks best. Apart from digital vanity, a smartphone also offers you 101 gadgets to sat in touch with the home front.

Sometimes I wonder if that is a good thing.

Hostels, pubs, public transport… there is no place you can’t go without encountering people with their phone stuck up in their noses (not literally, of course). And yes, even I am obliged to follow this trend every now and again.

Even though there is nothing wrong with it, this behavior does create a barrier for your fellow travelers. That’s a shame, because the essence about exploring this globe is to get acquainted with new faces, exchange tips and tricks, have a good laugh, share amazing stories…

Ye, yes, I know. It is important that you keep the homefront updated on your personal safety. But must it be done on a daily basis? By keeping daily contact with friends and family, you are mentally travelling hind and fro between your actual destination and the virtual old life. Think about it, wouldn’t it be better to just take in the experience of being somewhere new? You might only travel this way once. And you can open up a facenook session anytime when you’re back home.   

By the way, have you noticed it too? Everywhere we go we can see the signs: “free wifi in here”.

And yes, even I follow those signs. But I wonder what happened to the “breakfast included” offers, or even the “free coffee”. I guess priorities change.

Although there was one hostel that really got my attention: “We have the softest mattresses in Bangkok.” If you might travel through Asia, then you know that this unique selling proposition did the trick. God, I slept well that night.

… Yes, yes you read it correctly: slept; what else would one do in Bangkok at 3 AM? Don’t answer that, please, I really don’t want to know the details.  

timing

With the previous post still in mind: let’s make it personal again.  I’ve spent about a year and a half in Ireland. During my stay I met a former reporter from radio  BBC. He was funny, harsh and knew how to administer mental beatings in order to get me in professional shape. He was, and still is, full of great advice. It didn’t always lead to the desirable effect, but it got some nice results. To tell you the truth, I could start an entire blog about his coaching, but a lot of things probably wouldn’t affect you. There is however one line that I am going to share with you. I guess, this one sticks the most:

“You are a slow student, that is true, but you’ll get there in the end. It’s not  important how long it may take you, it only matters that you make it. So don’t fret too much that others make a steadier progress. You have talent, you have the means. Take a look at yourself: you aren’t perfect, but you’ve got things sorted out all right.”

 And you know what? I still live up to that advice. Eventually I’ll get where I need to be. And so will you. It might not be in a way that you anticipate it now, because things change in time: dreams, habits, means, opportunities… but if you remain true to your ambition, you’ll get to do the things that matter most.

And don’t forget to use the farce

M

ad vice

There are times when you perfectly know what you want. And then there are other days when you’ll ask for opinions or wind up at blogs like these. The funny thing about it is that if the advice is contrary to our initial beliefs, we usually discard that advice and go for a second opinion.

So my guess is, that in fact you already knew what you want (may it be subconsciously). You just needed some confirmation, that what you are doing is the right thing. That’s okay. 

I used to gnash my teeth on it: people would ask me what to do in a certain situation,  I’d take my time and give them the full briefing on what might work. They usually respond with: “that is some GREAT advice. Thank you so much.” And then they’d go on their merry way, doing the exact opposite. 

It’s natural. And I admit, the older I become the more I realize that some issues aren’t always that simple. But I still try my best to keep you all on the right track, even though I might not know every answer. 

Perhaps the same thing goes with the real ‘experts’: consultants, psychologists, psychopaths… if their opinion seems legit for  you, go for it. If not, change your expert. Everybody has their own theory. But be wary: it’s not because they seem to know what they are talking about, that they actually do. We mostly base our comments on personal experiences, things we have read, or things we have heard from others. If your situation doesn’t seem to fit, don’t think you are a misfit: you are having a unique experience, follow your own path. 

So if some of my posts feel right to you, please, by all means give it a try.

If not, well I can always quote Clint Eastwood:

 “Opinions are like assholes: everybody has one.”      

what's the risk?

It’s strange. We risk to lose or to miss out on so many things if we remain stagnant; especially if you compare it to what happens if you do speak up or act up. There is so much to gain, even if it’s just free drinks or a nice waste of time. So why does it still feel like climbing a mountain time after time again? I guess practice makes perfect. Never slack down.