Let it go

About a year ago, I talked with a Buddhist monk. I just walked up to him and asked: “excuse me, can I pick your mind for a moment?”

Of course he looked at me funny, for just about a nanosecond. I  guess I have that effect on people. I guess no one really expects me to be straightforward. But I have my moments… sometimes. Anyway, he was happy to indulge me.

As you know one of my perks is to give people advice, whether they like it or not. But I wanted to go further, because sometimes some issues were just too deep. HowHow can you help people, when you don’t know what to say?

His response was the following.

“Internal suffering is a matter of the past. So the best way to help, is to assist them in letting go of that past, instead of clinging on to it. Focus on the now and stop bringing it up.”

This is not a strict rule: sometimes it truly helps to let people ventilate their pain. Sometimes, they don’t want advice they just want to be understood. A listening ear and a caring embrace can sometimes do wonders. But don’t allow it to become caught in a loop. Divert the focus on the nicer things in life. Take them away from the past and gently guide them into the present.
Furthermore, letting go of the past doesn’t mean breaking all contact with the people you once knew and start building up an entire life from scratch. It means stay in touch, without the constant reminders of the past. 
This is not always an easy task, but if you focus too much on what happened, you are deemed to let this past affect all your future decisions, then you’ll miss out many wonderful opportunities. And yes, there is always the danger that history might repeat itself... but on the other hand, sometimes all it takes is one opportunity to break the circle.   

timing

With the previous post still in mind: let’s make it personal again.  I’ve spent about a year and a half in Ireland. During my stay I met a former reporter from radio  BBC. He was funny, harsh and knew how to administer mental beatings in order to get me in professional shape. He was, and still is, full of great advice. It didn’t always lead to the desirable effect, but it got some nice results. To tell you the truth, I could start an entire blog about his coaching, but a lot of things probably wouldn’t affect you. There is however one line that I am going to share with you. I guess, this one sticks the most:

“You are a slow student, that is true, but you’ll get there in the end. It’s not  important how long it may take you, it only matters that you make it. So don’t fret too much that others make a steadier progress. You have talent, you have the means. Take a look at yourself: you aren’t perfect, but you’ve got things sorted out all right.”

 And you know what? I still live up to that advice. Eventually I’ll get where I need to be. And so will you. It might not be in a way that you anticipate it now, because things change in time: dreams, habits, means, opportunities… but if you remain true to your ambition, you’ll get to do the things that matter most.

And don’t forget to use the farce

M

freethinker

Oh, hello again. I hope you are having a good time here. Well, don’t get too comfortable, because today I am giving you some homework. 

With the weekend in sight, I won’t be posting for the next four days, so you have more than enough time to give it a try. No worries, I’m not going to challenge you into breathtaking experiences… not just yet that is ^ ^ 

This time, it’s fairly easy:

Close to a holy place I encountered some quotes of wisdom.

Your assignment for this weekend is to give those quotes some thought. They are not mine, and I won’t tell you whether I agree with them or not.

Because thinking for yourself is one of the most important things that you’ll have to do. Your own thoughts will make the life you are living truly yours. So please, make sure they are good ones.

Heaven never helps the man/woman who will not act.

It’s good to forgive, it’s better to forget.

Pardon is the most glorious revenge.

Charms strike the sight, but merit wins the soul.

The wise man/woman is always a good listener.

To learn without reflecting, is like eating without digesting.

Wisdom is knowing what to do next.