You are here

Hello there, it has been a while hasn’t it?

To be honest I haven’t been feeling myself lately, so instead of writing advice on this blog, I have been following my own. When I felt bad, I allowed myself to cocoon a bit. When I felt better I tried to make most of it with friends, events and writing.  The only problem is of course that when you have limited energy, you can’t use as much as you want to.   Bit still we’re trying. And that takes us to the next post.

You are here

We’ve seen it a lot on maps. And yes, even on the map of life: here you are and here I am.  No matter what happened, what you’ve done or what is going to wait for you in the future: here you are. You made it this far, being on this location, with no doubt: already great accomplishments. For you they might seem insignificant, but that is because you are too close to those projects. Tell anybody else of the things that drive you, the things you have already done. They will be amazed, I’ll guarantee it. Mind you not all accomplishments are falling in the same category: family, friends, money, status… usually we focus too much on the obvious means of success. Nevertheless, here you are. You made it this far and that couldn’t be done without all the effort you’ve put in your life. You might not be on the right place… yet. But the road is still long and you have many great things to encounter. Some paths may be blocked due to your past. But remember that there are still plenty of routes to take, no matter where your destination might be. So every once and a while, when you feel lost: go outside. Go to those city maps and see the message: you are here. Now please take a bow and wave at the camera.

the 6 thoughts of the mind

A coworker handed me these once:

1) make peace with your past, so that it won't cast a shadow on your present.

2) what others think of you is really no concern of yours.

3) time heals almost everything, so take your time every once and a while.

4) no one should be the reason of your own happyness. Only you are responsible.

5) do not compare yourself with others, you have no idea what they have been through.

6) stop thinking everything through. It's not bad a bad thing if you don't know all the answers.


Unfortunately I haven't seen her around lately, so I guess it requires more than 6 tricks to have a good day. Still, we are all living our life the way we think would fit us best. There is no right or wrong way to do it, there is only your own life. Make something out of it, Inspire and be inspired.

ps,
if you miss my humorous remarks in the posts: they will return shortly.
In the meantime allow me to write a joke my sister shared with me (since it's all about sharing)

"a sheep, a drum, and a snake fell down a cliff:
ba dum tss."






hey, don't look at me like this: you asked for it. See you again next week

the final journey

Hey, this is a personal message. It has nothing to do with your wellbeing,
nor with mine. But I thought it would make an interesting story. Believe what you will about it.

Recently my grandfather died. As far as I know, he went peacefully.
But I don't put this story up to prey on your condolences. He had a good age, and I guess for him it will be a final journey into the unknown.

What happened a few weeks ago, that is interesting.

Some time ago, my grandfather asked my father to hide his passport.
He said that people were trying to steal it, and he needed his passport to get to heaven/the afterlife.

A week ago he adressed my father again and asked back his passport. Het told my father that they  wouldn't come to take him. If he could he would walk to heaven himself, but it was beyond reach for the moment.
A few days ago he passed away, I guess they finally came for him.

Again, I have no idea why I share this with you, other than to tell you an interesting story.
Think from it what you will. I'd like to think that he is in a beter place now and that the customs didn't gave him a hard time with his passport.

take care

and untill next week.

M

accomplishments

It is better to regret a choice of life, while following your passions, than to look back and always wonder why you didn't take your chances.

About a week ago  I've talked to my uncle. He's an independant worker and someone i'm starting to apreciate more as I grow older. I guess some wisdom can only be taught in time, and through experience... be it good or bad.

My uncle is a man with a clear vision.
he knew what he wanted to do.
As he said:

"When I got married, the combined capital of both me and my wife was 20 euros.
The day I told people I was going to become an independant plumber, I got a shitstorm of critique. But I knew it was something I had to do. And so I got things started.
The day my son was born, I told myself: 
whenever he gets married, I'll drive him to church in a genuine oldtimer.
So I worked hard. I made my mistakes, but I learned from them. I took my time off when needed, but I always had the endgame in mind. When opportunity knocked I let it in, no matte if friends and family had better things to do."

Personal note: keep my previous post in mind: it is a good thing to have goals, passions, and purpose. But do not work yourself to death. Having priorities is one thing, letting the whole world pass you by is another. My uncle also enjoyed life when he had the chance.
And you know what?
a few years ago he did it.
He fuckin' drove his son to the wedding chapel with his very own oldtimer.

Of course for every succes story there is another tale of someone who crashed and burned.
But if you really have your mind set on something. If you do the things you are passionate about, then there is no failure, only opportunities to learn

good luck out there

- writer out,
I have some more stories to create -

M

carpe diem

Today I'm talking to you about seizing the moment. True, you might have already reead a similar subject. But there is no harm in repeating, right? Otherwise you can just stop reading... come on, I challenge you. Stop reading...

Still here? good. As I was saying, it'll do you some good to seize the moment every so often. If opportunities rise why not have a look? For example on social events, festivities,...
There are times when we honestly ask ourselves: why should I attend this event/party/... I'm in no mood to see people. My answer: give it a try anyway. You can sulk at home or you can sulk amoung people. At least there you'll have opportunities.

BUT

Yes, there is a very big but
(heheh,I wrote 'a very big butt')

There is something called balace:

If you seize every opportunity they throw at you, you'll might end up exhausted and burned out.
Unfortunately I experienced this myself. There has to be some moderation. Look at yourself and think: what has my priority? And also: am I not stuck in a vicious circle, doing the same things over and over again, without any chance of progress?
But if you are in a rut, and if you know that today won't be any good whatsoever, then why not go outside, meet some friends, do something crazy.. It can only get better.

So think big, live fast,
but don't forget to take a brake every now and then.
There is much wisdom in the things that tranquility can offer.
Like I said: it's all about balance.

back on track

Hello there, it has been a while, hasn't it?

Well, before you get too excited, please do keep in mind that my "homework" is finished. I am no longer obliged to write a message every day. Still, fore some reason the blog doesn't seem finished. So I'll put some updates on it. It won't be a daily blog from now on, but I'll do my best to give you an update at least once a week. Just don't shoot me if I miss a week. Or if you find the posts riddled with spelling errors. From now on the content counts and not the good looks.
Why?
Because now I'll have to focus most of my efforts to get my dutch book published. Preferably by a publisher, and if not I'll do it myself... there is a deadline.
So tips, tricks and contacts on your behalf are always welcome.

Well, I guess it's true:
I don't write because I can.
I write because I can't stop.

Your weekly exercise

A few days ago I talked to someone who is practicing the Ramadan.  She told me that there was more to it than just fasting during the day and feasting during the night. The essential idea was to stop doing things that were harmful to mind and body. So it was not just going cold turkey on cigarettes, alcohol etc. But also to refrain from gossip and cursing. And most importantly: to reflect on the things you are doing wrong in your life, on the harmful things you inflict upon yourself and others. And especially this last part that I find worth trying out myself.

Because when we feel bad we usually tend to go for the quick solutions. Things/habits that make us happy for just a few moments. At that moment we don’t care if it’s healthy, as long as it makes the bad feeling go away. 

So why won’t you have this exercise with me? Instead of wasting time for half an hour, we close our eyes, take a deep breath and reflect on the things that prevent us from living life at its fullest. What are the causes? How can we solve it without using the quick fix? You are a smart person, deep inside you know the answers. Everything starts with a healthy mind, the rest will follow.

"insert popular phrase here"

Somewhere in the beginning of this blog I said that I won’t publish too much quotes. And already I have lined up more than a few.  I guess it’s harder than it looks not to use other people’s wisdom as an example. But although it makes things easier to explain, using a quote doesn’t always prove your point. It’s similar with graphs and charts to provide evidence for certain theories. If you put things in a context you can prove almost anything. If there is enough data available from someone, you can quote him or her with almost anything. Think about it, we all say things that contradict occasionally. So next time don’t be surprised if you see me quote roman emperor Caligula to prompt you on eating your vegetables every day.

If you see a quote that makes you smile, all the better. But don’t assume because some famous person said it, that it will change your life drastically, or that he/she actually meant it that way. Context is everything.  And please, don’t mind me putting phrases in the wrong context, some old habits die hard.

As president Abraham Lincoln once said: “stop quoting Einstein on facebook.”   

The sound of silence

Oh hi there.

I haven’t got much to say today… or the past week, as you might have noticed. But don't worry, I haven’t forgotten about you. It’s just that sometimes when someone has nothing to say, he/she might do good to remain silent and listen or reflect instead of just talk for the sake of talking. There is already too much nonsense in this world, when some take the freedom of speech for granted. Sometimes there is a lot of power to be found in silence. But you don’t want to hear all about that, do you? Nah, you want to hear wisdom, mindfulness and things that soothe the mind.
So why not let others speak? Take a moment to let it sink in. I don’t know who the original authors are, but I guess it’s not that important who said it, rather then what it does to you. Enjoy.

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about dancing in the rain."

"In this great future you can forget your past."

"Follow the white rabbit. You may never catch it, but i twill take you to some amazing places."

"The ball won’t roll if you don’t kick it."

"Better be someone for just a day than to be no one for a lifetime."

"Sometimes all you need is a bit of imagination."

"Enjoy the abundance of life!"

be prepared

You’ll notice that I occasionally I skip my daily update for this blog. Am I therefore untrustworthy and inconsistent? Of course not... wèèèèll maybe a little bit.  But as you know I made this blog for you, I want to give you my best lines, instead of trying to spew bulk advice just to get my daily quota. Naturally there is a little risk that I may repeat myself from time to time. If this entertains you, no problem. On the other hand, if I start to sound like a senile old duck then please feel free to tell me so.
This blog has a strange synergy: part of it is planned, while other stories just become posted in the heat of the moment. That reminds me to put the focus of today on the following subject: preparations

As with everything you plan to do: preparations will get you far, but they aren’t your main concern.

Make your work the same way you travel: make plans to get where you need to be, draw out some side notes and points of interest. But go with the flow, take your time. Don’t be afraid to end up in different places. Enjoy the journey, not the destination. And  by all means take the occasional risk, there is so much more to experience to gain if you get out of that safe seat every now and then.

I guess the blog also has this way of working.  

Come with your mind open and you’ll leave with your heart full (or was it the other way around?)

a clothing thing

According to a book I once read, humankind was supposed to be naked. Until of course somebody took a bite out of an apple-product, thanks a lot Eve.

Ever since then people wear clothes. Some use it to protect themselves against the elements: winter jackets, woolen Speedos, hats and caps…

Others wear uniforms to distinctively belong to a certain group, this sometimes comes with its own advantages and obligations. 

Clothing has its practical use, there’s no deny of it. But have you ever thought about clothing as a way of expressing yourself? Instead of a way to camouflage yourself into a certain group, your clothes can be an extension of your personality. The better you make your pick, the more it can be a way of guiding people towards you. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just get something that catches the eye, and underlines an aspect about who you really are.

As a great example: someone used patches and colorful fabrics and attached them to her blazer. Everytime I had written a story, a new patch would be stitched on the blazer. It was amazing how much compliments she got with it. And every compliment offered an opportunity to chat with the 'admireres'   

But it doesn't have to go that far. Buy clothes that define you: your favorite band, a country you visited, a funny quote… give people something to talk about. Always wear the brands you like. There might be 1.000 people who won’t recognize your Ramones t-shirt, but there will always be at least one who will.

Body and soul

Following the line of thought on my  previous post, you can say that in order to keep a healthy mind, you’ll also have to take care of your body. Life is about balance. Think about it: taking a shower and putting on your good clothes just because you feel like it can already do wonders. But there is more to it. Our body is capable of many wonderful things (I won’t be too graphic about it, you’ll probably use your dirty imagination anyway). We are not meant to sit idly. That’s why whenever you feel in a pickle, try working out. Yes I know, who am I to say you have to exercise. I only train once a week. But it does feel good. No matter what I have on my mind, it all fades away when I am busy. 
Even though sport will not solve all your problems, it gives you a way of getting away from your thoughts for a moment. Plus, the adrenaline you feel afterward might give your spirit the boost it needs to tackle things practically. Don’t want to go out alone? Drag somebody with you, he or she will be thankful for it… eventually.
So if you find yourself, or anybody else, in a slump, take it outside and move those muscles.   

scar tissue

I know something about you… you have a scar on your knee.
If right now you gasp and wonder how I know this: a lot of people have a scar like that, since falling on our knees is more common than we think. Some even get an arrow to the knee (sorry for this outdated joke).  That’s why some fortunetellers will use this fact to prove they can ‘really’ see the unexplained.  But since the supernatural isn’t really my turf, let’s get back to the scar issue.

 We all have scars, things from the past that changed our appearance.  Some are small and unseen, sometimes even unnoticed. While others might even affect the way you behave.
A personal example? If ever you have the honor/horror to see me topless:  you can still see a small line on the skin above my collarbone. While the scar is almost gone, the metal spike underneath it still remains. That spike was meant to keep the broken bone on its place. And while it has long served, it still remains as a part of me. In the beginning it changed my life drastically: the slightest touch of that area caused great pain. I became more cautious and avoided everything that might hint a danger of direct contact. As time passed I returned to my old habits and even took more chances: roller coasters,  cliff jumping, festivals… Although you won’t see me crowd surfing any time soon now.

The same thing goes with your inner scars.

 An experience might have hurt you so deeply that is has left a scar on your soul. In the beginning you’ll mostly remind the pain, and everything that gets near you will cause some kind of a reaction. Later on you’ll try to move on and pick up your normal way of life. The beginning is always the hardest part. You are suspicious of everything that has a hint of hurting you. Though as time passes you’ll eventually return to your normal way of experiencing life. It is true that the scar will still remind you time and again about the injury, and perhaps you’ll be more cautious in similar situations. But in the end it won’t affect you as much as you initially feared.  The cliché is often true: time can heal all wounds. So no matter which discomfort you might experience, whether it is physical or mental. You will still be you. And the pain will subside.

Side note: in some cases, when the pain is deeper, a full recovery will not always be in order. But still time will teach you how to return to a similar way of living. The things that make you who you are, will always find a way to submerge. Have faith in it. 

Bucket time

You know what time it is?

Bucket time!

You probably heard about this concept: a bucket list. 

If you haven’t, it’s a list you make for yourself (or copy from the internet) containing all the things you want to do before a certain time; e.g. before you’re becoming an adult (not applicable to yours truly), before  getting married, before spawning children, before you reach the age of 30-40, before you’re getting too old for this shit.
So there is a deadline, but it isn’t yet in the nearby future, allowing you to take your time to achieve some great dreams.

Following this theory: “I have to buy double glazed windows before the next time I shave my legs,” is NOT a good item for your bucket list (and again not applicable to yours truly).

Now, why would you start a bucket list (if you haven’t already)?

Well, life is short. We are capable of so many things, we have so many dreams that are realizable if you just put your mind to it. Listing those dreams down , offers a  solid first step in getting those them realized.  One of the next steps is telling other people what you have in mind, gain their support, and maybe even a helping hand. 
Imagine how amazing would it be if you actually achieve one of those accomplishments.

A second rule of bucket listing, is to never erase any entry of your list. Because it doesn’t mean that when  your dream seems stupid or infantile at the moment, that it can’t or won’t be achieved in a later stage. Besides, nothing feels so satisfying as to mark an entry on that list as ‘achieved’.

I already had the honor of marking much of my entries. But there are some that are still open. Don’t worry,  I won’t share all of them with you. Let’s just give you a glimpse, who knows you can help me with it.

The main reason I do this, is to inspire you to do the same. Heck, I fucking challenge you to do it.
feel free to put your list in the comments section, perhaps I can even throw in a few tips.  

Part of my bucket:

Get one of my  books published (for starters)
If the book gets enough readers: get a tattoo of it (this would be my first).
Shave my head (just to see how it looks)
learn to play the electric guitar
be at new Orleans’ mardi grass
work for the gaming industry (close call, but not yet achieved)
act in a horror movie
take over the world
 Attend a real American home party
get a real old fashioned oak writing desk.
sword fighting (with real steel)
fire a gun/rifle
driving a quad/trike
wild water rafting
experience crossing the desert (perhaps by camel)
experience weightlessness in space.
be at Oktoberfest in Munich
swim with sharks
participate in a huge food fight
mud soccer
partycrashing a wedding
do the transseberian express
go to Argentina
go to Vietnam

Let it go

About a year ago, I talked with a Buddhist monk. I just walked up to him and asked: “excuse me, can I pick your mind for a moment?”

Of course he looked at me funny, for just about a nanosecond. I  guess I have that effect on people. I guess no one really expects me to be straightforward. But I have my moments… sometimes. Anyway, he was happy to indulge me.

As you know one of my perks is to give people advice, whether they like it or not. But I wanted to go further, because sometimes some issues were just too deep. HowHow can you help people, when you don’t know what to say?

His response was the following.

“Internal suffering is a matter of the past. So the best way to help, is to assist them in letting go of that past, instead of clinging on to it. Focus on the now and stop bringing it up.”

This is not a strict rule: sometimes it truly helps to let people ventilate their pain. Sometimes, they don’t want advice they just want to be understood. A listening ear and a caring embrace can sometimes do wonders. But don’t allow it to become caught in a loop. Divert the focus on the nicer things in life. Take them away from the past and gently guide them into the present.
Furthermore, letting go of the past doesn’t mean breaking all contact with the people you once knew and start building up an entire life from scratch. It means stay in touch, without the constant reminders of the past. 
This is not always an easy task, but if you focus too much on what happened, you are deemed to let this past affect all your future decisions, then you’ll miss out many wonderful opportunities. And yes, there is always the danger that history might repeat itself... but on the other hand, sometimes all it takes is one opportunity to break the circle.   

let's meat

If you have been browsing these messages for a little while, you might wonder if all those things I say are really worth the effort. If you have: good for you, never trust the experts J

On the other hand, If you do follow all my posts unconditionally, then I have bad news for you: I am not (yet) a licensed witchdoctor, so some of my posts are based on presumptions and general truths. Why? Because it isn’t always easy basing my advice on a general audience, without even knowing who is reading it… Well that’s not entirely true is it? You’re reading this, you take the effort to skim through my bad puns and filter out the wisdom.  So I do owe you to test out my own theories every once and a while.

Not so long ago (yesterday in fact), I was in a rather melancholic mood.  Yes, I too have my dark moments, just like you. We are only human after all. There are only a few persons on this world who are always happy… and they usually wear jackets with very long sleeves.  

Still, a foul mood can have a disastrous effect on the creativity (among other things), so instead of closing all the curtains, unplugging all social devices, and watching  cannibal the musical for the 5^th time, I decided to follow my own advice. I picked up my phone and browsed through the contact list. I found a few old friends; you know the ones: you haven’t seen them in ages and still you solemnly promise to meet them any day in the near future. In fact… you have been promising yourself that for the past decade. So I gave them a call. Yes, a genuine phone call; no phasebook, no hotmale, no what’s upp…  a call when you dial the number, hear the tone and hope for the love of jebus, that you won’t have to speak to a voicemail. Of course I ended up with a few voicemails, left a polite message and continued my calling spree. The ones who did answer were, as to say the least, surprised to hear me. And you know what? I really can’t tell who was happier to hear the other ones voice.

Never EVER underestimate the power of a personal call above any means of instant messaging. The tone of voice says so much more than a bunch of carelessly typed smileys.  

Needless to say after a few of these calls my melancholy (and perhaps even theirs) was nowhere to be found.  So there you see it, people are the key, you just have to pick the right ones.  So why don’t you give it a try? There must be one lost contact from ancient times that is waiting to be called. Have fun, and don’t fear the voicemail, we all know how silly we sound on it, no big deal.  

family ties

“Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.” – Monty Burns

Sorry, I couldn’t resist putting this up here. Although this quote is so horribly wrong, it is still funny.

…

But as always, there is some truth in it, depending how you look at it. Although friends and family are the life force you need to keep on living, some might hold you back. Don’t worry, I’m not a crazy cult leader that tells you to leave everything behind (although I find it quite tempting to take on that job ;-)

I just want to express that most  friends and family will often suggest you to follow the safe path. They like you to succeed in something solid, something that will offer a good future. And, don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that. It might even say that they care about you. 

But that easy path might limit your potential. Of course what good is living life on the wild side if you don’t have the means to support yourself, burning every euro you have on crazy projects? So I guess the route to follow lies somewhere in between. Just flip a coin every once and a while. But no matter which way you chose to go, remember that the roads less traveled might be a thousand times more interesting. How would you know if you won’t try it?  

This requires guts. But you do have it in you: you’ve got a stomach, intestines… all the nice gooey bits. So use it every once and a while. Go for gut, go for glory. And don’t forget to tell me a nice juicy story about it.   

mattresses

This is just an observation I made. It has nothing to do with the normal posts on this blog. But since there is no sensorsheep here, I can write whatever I want, behold: chimichangas

Anyway

Thanks to modern day technology, traveling has become easier. Digital camera’s or smartphones can show you immediately which one of your thousand shelfies looks best. Apart from digital vanity, a smartphone also offers you 101 gadgets to sat in touch with the home front.

Sometimes I wonder if that is a good thing.

Hostels, pubs, public transport… there is no place you can’t go without encountering people with their phone stuck up in their noses (not literally, of course). And yes, even I am obliged to follow this trend every now and again.

Even though there is nothing wrong with it, this behavior does create a barrier for your fellow travelers. That’s a shame, because the essence about exploring this globe is to get acquainted with new faces, exchange tips and tricks, have a good laugh, share amazing stories…

Ye, yes, I know. It is important that you keep the homefront updated on your personal safety. But must it be done on a daily basis? By keeping daily contact with friends and family, you are mentally travelling hind and fro between your actual destination and the virtual old life. Think about it, wouldn’t it be better to just take in the experience of being somewhere new? You might only travel this way once. And you can open up a facenook session anytime when you’re back home.   

By the way, have you noticed it too? Everywhere we go we can see the signs: “free wifi in here”.

And yes, even I follow those signs. But I wonder what happened to the “breakfast included” offers, or even the “free coffee”. I guess priorities change.

Although there was one hostel that really got my attention: “We have the softest mattresses in Bangkok.” If you might travel through Asia, then you know that this unique selling proposition did the trick. God, I slept well that night.

… Yes, yes you read it correctly: slept; what else would one do in Bangkok at 3 AM? Don’t answer that, please, I really don’t want to know the details.  

timing

With the previous post still in mind: let’s make it personal again.  I’ve spent about a year and a half in Ireland. During my stay I met a former reporter from radio  BBC. He was funny, harsh and knew how to administer mental beatings in order to get me in professional shape. He was, and still is, full of great advice. It didn’t always lead to the desirable effect, but it got some nice results. To tell you the truth, I could start an entire blog about his coaching, but a lot of things probably wouldn’t affect you. There is however one line that I am going to share with you. I guess, this one sticks the most:

“You are a slow student, that is true, but you’ll get there in the end. It’s not  important how long it may take you, it only matters that you make it. So don’t fret too much that others make a steadier progress. You have talent, you have the means. Take a look at yourself: you aren’t perfect, but you’ve got things sorted out all right.”

 And you know what? I still live up to that advice. Eventually I’ll get where I need to be. And so will you. It might not be in a way that you anticipate it now, because things change in time: dreams, habits, means, opportunities… but if you remain true to your ambition, you’ll get to do the things that matter most.

And don’t forget to use the farce

M

ad vice

There are times when you perfectly know what you want. And then there are other days when you’ll ask for opinions or wind up at blogs like these. The funny thing about it is that if the advice is contrary to our initial beliefs, we usually discard that advice and go for a second opinion.

So my guess is, that in fact you already knew what you want (may it be subconsciously). You just needed some confirmation, that what you are doing is the right thing. That’s okay. 

I used to gnash my teeth on it: people would ask me what to do in a certain situation,  I’d take my time and give them the full briefing on what might work. They usually respond with: “that is some GREAT advice. Thank you so much.” And then they’d go on their merry way, doing the exact opposite. 

It’s natural. And I admit, the older I become the more I realize that some issues aren’t always that simple. But I still try my best to keep you all on the right track, even though I might not know every answer. 

Perhaps the same thing goes with the real ‘experts’: consultants, psychologists, psychopaths… if their opinion seems legit for  you, go for it. If not, change your expert. Everybody has their own theory. But be wary: it’s not because they seem to know what they are talking about, that they actually do. We mostly base our comments on personal experiences, things we have read, or things we have heard from others. If your situation doesn’t seem to fit, don’t think you are a misfit: you are having a unique experience, follow your own path. 

So if some of my posts feel right to you, please, by all means give it a try.

If not, well I can always quote Clint Eastwood:

 “Opinions are like assholes: everybody has one.”      

what's the risk?

It’s strange. We risk to lose or to miss out on so many things if we remain stagnant; especially if you compare it to what happens if you do speak up or act up. There is so much to gain, even if it’s just free drinks or a nice waste of time. So why does it still feel like climbing a mountain time after time again? I guess practice makes perfect. Never slack down.

grow(l)ing

Oh grow up… well, I guess eventually we all have to. As it comes in all shapes and sizes. For example: dealing with responsibilities, stopping to tell cheesy puns on your great aunt’s funeral etc. 

But what growing (up) doesn’t mean is learning to live with the things you cannot control. Nor is it trying to anticipate on worst case scenarios. Growing is all about changing yourself, mastering the things you can control, so you could change a possible outcome in your advantage. And sometimes this is easier done than said: you are capable of amazing things. You really have more dormant skills than you initially thought you would. Try them out. Grow. Just take it one step at a time and the rest will follow.

talking king

How about a little anecdote?

It is almost unthinkable to park a car anywhere in London, without having to pay all of your lifesavings. And arriving there at 4 a.m. without any proper sleep wasn’t working in our advantage either. Still we found a space (my respect for the driver on that one).
Unfortunately  the next morning we noticed that it was a private parking space belonging to a store, which offered only a 2 hour maximum stay. And yes, a camera had registered our arrival time. The fine would be 70 pounds, and the risk of getting towed away was still imminent. Instead of heading off to another over prices lot, the driver decided to have a chat with the store manager. Against the odds, he succeeded and  got his car be registered as a ‘special visitor’. He only had to pay the manager 30 pounds for the hassle. That is 30 pounds for  a weekend worth of parking without the fear of getting towed away. 

Why this anecdote? Well, although not a spectacular one,  let it be one of many proofs, never to underestimate the power of words (combined  with the necessary respect for whomever you are talking to).
You have no idea how many things we could resolve, if we’d just take the time to have a good talk, while trying to find the mutual benefits. This is the basis of assertiveness. So take your time and start talking. Even for the most shy people this is a skill that can be taught through practice.    

slacking

Hey there, I just got back from a weekend in London, so as you might have noticed there were no posts for the last couple of days. And allow me to say, that it is highly recommendable. Ah, just to be away from everything for a few days: no email, no phone, no blog, no plans, only a few close friends who can make me laugh (even with things as simple as a pickled onion, but that’s another story).
Yes I know, we aren’t always given the means to head out and leave the country. But don’t let that stop you, there are so many places nearby where you can go to (perhaps even in the same town). Allow yourself to be surrounded by people/elements that will take your mind of from the everyday hustle. (Hush, I know, the right term would be ‘every day hassle’. Hussssh.)
Ahem, well I’d say sorry about that, but if you are someone who gets annoyed easily by my horrendous puns, then please let me escort you back to your nearest cat-loving website.
Now, back to the blog.

Sometimes people say to me: “Easier said than done, you have good friends, you know interesting people.”
My response: “Well, thank you, they are indeed a lovely bunch of miscreants.”
I do cherish  every single one of them, even though I sometimes just want to hulk-smash them against the pavement. And perhaps that is the secret. With today’s fast pacing society we are all too well familiar with the terms ‘unfriend’ or ‘disposable people’. But if there is anything I learned from life, is that sometimes people are worth the effort. We can’t always know which ones until it’s too late. So give it a try, don’t give up on them too easy. Yes, some deserve to be pushed into a bottomless cesspool, but come on… That little mistake happened years ago, anybody could have mistaken your prize-goldfish for a suppository.
A side note: apart from that poor goldfish-pun, don’t discard this idea as too naïve. I do know that sometimes we are indeed better off without certain people and that you can’t be on good terms with everybody. The only favor I ask from you today is to think about the following one: do not discard people too lightly. And if all else fails, new opportunities will rise:  

“There are no strangers here; only friends you haven’t yet met.” (William Butler Yeats)

Hmm, a lot of content in this post. I guess that will be enough load to balance off the blogless weekend, huh? 

the dragon

There are many rules on how to write properly. One is: not to write ‘cute’. And for once purple fluffy bunnies have nothing to do with it. What they mean by it is: don’t bend the language too much, trying to impress the reader. And although some rules can be bend, they cannot be broken,  unless you have a damn good reason.  Otherwise the readers will be put off.

 Whew, thank goodness that this blog is just homework. No readers to impress, just me writing and you reading. So rest assured there will be a load of bad puns coming up.

Because life is already getting too serious without all those rules to follow.

I think that’s why I don’t dabble too much in the art of poetry. According to me it should be about provoking an emotion, not having the right amount of words in one sentence. But really, I’m not qualified to discuss this topic, since I’ve only written six poems or so. Two of them you’ll probably never read, they’re personal.  But I’ll be glad to show you this one. How about you’ll be the judge if it’s good or goof, rules be damned.  

The Dragon

I once had a dragon, long and thin

He had blue scales, unique to his kin

He pursed his lips whenever he spoke

And out would come puffs of smoke

The grownups snubbed, they didn’t see

Oh how we had fun, just him and me

Every day was a quest for glory

If only you knew the entire story

But one day the adults came

To tame me, that was their aim:

“Your dragon days are over, it’s time to grow

Be a man and make it show:

Slay the dragon, put him to sleep

And do not even dare to weep.”

 I shouted: “You saw my dragon all along?”

“We all did,” they said,  “but had to be strong.

All dragons must die, that is clear

So grow up, don’t shed another tear.

You’ll see you are better off without.

That’s what adulthood is all about.”

Last time we spoke, I was chilled by cold

The dragon nodded:  “Do as you are told.

But don’t you ever forget about me

For I am your creativity.”

seeing is believing

Not so long ago I pulled a little prank on a group of people. Yes sometimes it is just too hard to resists. I guess I have other priorities than growing up. Then again, we are getting too serious anyway.  Although… for a while it seemed that my little act of childism turned against me. Because afterwards those people seemed to treat me more distant than usual. No more smiles, only meek hello’s . Damn, had I already lost all my credit to that group of people? A bit downhearted I kept myself away from those people. After all, what can you say to those who can’t take a joke?

Eventually though, I had to bump into one of them. And again , the interaction was quite stale. Luckily the day wasn’t over and when we met a second time, it appeared I was wrong all along. The group had been under quite some pressure that day, darkening their mood. The way they treated me was just their general state of mind. And I guess my own strain of thought might have altered my perception about it. So keep it in mind when the whole world seems to be conspiring against you. Chances are that you are just making a few bad presumptions. Because in the first place people generally think about themselves. So don’t assume that your actions have too much of a permanent impact. Or that others might have control over you. It’s all about perception. So go ahead and do something wild and don’t be afraid of what others might think. Things will fall into place eventually.

…

…

…

Err, why are you still reading?

This message is finished.

Come on, what do you want?

Oh…

You want to know what prank I pulled?
hah, nice try, I am not going to share that one with you.

Why?

Because maybe you are going to be my next victim.

Heh

Growing up is overrated anyway.  

thank you for the music

Slowly but steadily I’m getting some good feedback on this blog. To be honest it amazes me that such a variety of people actually love my personal insights and chaotic touch. 

Heh, and here I was doubting if I even knew what I was typing.  I also got some thumbs up from some experts in these matters, and from people who I thought had absolutely no use of this blog. 

So I guess even the biggest and brightest sometimes need a push in the back or can appreciate another point of view.

Thank you all, for the feedback, you keep this blog running. 

A special thanks is dedicated to those who, even though they struggle a bit with my English, still take their time to read my written ponderings.

Last but not least:  thank you for your patience. I know my writing pace has been a bit slower than usual, but as stated before: if you can’t run, walk, if you can’t walk, crawl, and if you can’t crawl, sit down, relax and think about your next move. So yes, this blog is far from dead (thanks to you).   

let's go bananas

Somewhere earlier in this blog I posted a message on mistakes and missed chances.

Since it’s important for you to know that it’s okay to take a chance every once and a while and not sulk about missed opportunities, I’ll share an example. 

For with every chance you missed, more will come, just believe in it.

I’m going to give you a stupid example on how simple things can be, if you just follow through.

During one of my holidays I wound up on a party-island. Being a solo traveler it’s not always easy to mingle in a group of party-goers, but I gave it a shot anyway.

Apart from the standard techno-clubs, there also was a rock pub. The musicians were putting up their gear, and a lovely bunch of ladies had placed themselves a few tables away. A good place for me to start…  or so I thought. The music was awful, imagine Disney rock covers. Ugh, I still get the chills when hearing “it’s a small world after all.” And I couldn’t get myself to walk over to that lovely company a few tables to the right. Yes, sometimes I’m just shy as fuck. (dearly note I wrote 'as fuck', with one 's' , you dirty little mind).
As the tunes of the little mermaid started to chime, I couldn’t take it anymore and left the place. Surely, it was a party island: more opportunities were bound to happen. So I took a stroll along the beach. No luck. I shook the sand out of my ears and passed a few pubs… nada. Back to the beach again: zero. For some reason I just couldn’t get into the right mood. It’s at times like these I had to take the long and lonesome way back to wherever I was supposed to sleep. When suddenly:

    

 ‘Hey go to the bananabar’

Normally I don’t listen to proppers (pub/party promoters) but since I really wasn’t in the mood to go to bed, just yet, I shrugged, and gave it a go. The bar was nice, imagine the blend of a tropical bar, and a huge assed tree house. There was ice cream and beerpong, movies and dancing. Still, I couldn’t shake the numb feeling  in the back of my head. Oh well, might as well see the movie. It was an Asian one. Even if I would speak the language, the loud music blasted out every possibility to hook on to the film. A girl noticed my struggle, I guess she had the same idea about the establishment. We started talking, but the music rendered every attempt to a wordplay impossible.    

So my next line was pretty obvious:  ‘wanna go outside?’

We took a walk through the party infested streets and eventually wound up back at the rock bar.

Surprisingly the rock music had become better. The musicians were merrily drunk, rendering the theme from Cinderella almost enjoyable.  After some  healthy sweaty smash dancing, we said our goodbye. I took one last stroll to the beach. There the music had also become improved. A lingered a bit longer and even initiated a flaming limbo. Satisfied, and much later than anticipated, I headed back to my hostel.

The point I’m trying to make with this little anecdote, is that your perception of the ambiance, will greatly depend on how you view things. And fellow people can have  a great influence on this. So if certain surroundings give you a tough time, think about going elsewhere. Yes, there’s always a possibility that things will remain the same, but at least you tried. And luck usually favors the ones who take action. Most importantly: for every missed opportunity there is a new chance waiting for you. So cheer up, the world is how you perceive it.