missed steaks

We all make mistakes (best read out loud with a fake Italian accent) . 

We all have bruises and battered egos about things we did that didn’t lead to the desired effect. It can go from hiring a mime as your spokesperson, to eating two servings of the bean dip platter just moments before you go bungee jumping.

Sometimes you too had the thought: ‘oh, if only I knew’. 

Thing is: you didn’t knew. And you took the action that, which you thought, was the most wise to do (generally speaking). 

That’s the way it goes. Life is about making choices, a lot of them. Some decisions you take with the greatest of ease, while others require months of thinking. But in the end, choices are made. (Side note: not making a choice is also considered as a choice… ) And you know what, most of the decisions you took are actually good. Yet, usually the bad ones remain with us for the longest. Why so? Because there are lessons to be leant from those mistakes. If you sometimes get the feeling you’re only going in circles, then you might be right: some events tend to reoccur. But with the experience you already got from previous ‘mistakes’, you can find a way of evading another serving.

Use it to move to different horizons, to achieve the goals in which you used to fail. You are meant to make the best of it. So don’t be scared to make mistakes, although they can be inevitable, they will build your character and guide you through the next obstacle course. The worst thing you can do is stand idle and sulk. You’ll miss more by staying in your safe zone than to go out there, to kick ass and chew bubblegum.

Still, if you need time to meditate on past events, by all means: take it slow. But do take it. 

lost but not forgotten

With my recent appointment with the mortuary, this might seem an appropriate post.

People come and go, but some are taken away from us too soon. It is inevitable, at a certain point in life we all have to deal with mourning.
One of the greatest comforts I have been given, were the words: “Don’t cry because it’s gone, smile because you had the opportunity to know such a wonderful person.”
Tears are shed because someone once found a way to reach out and made a special bond. Will that bond be broken, with his or her passing away? The answer to that lies within yourself. As long as you cherish the precious memories, that person will keep on living; within your mind and within your heart. The best way to honor a departed, is to live up to this person’s positive traits. Use it as an example on how to become a better person yourself.
I must admit it isn’t easy to think about good times that once were,  without shedding a few tears. Therefore never hide them; friends and family are here for you to provide comfort, more than you know. And when it’s your time to stand strong, you have to be there to support others.
Because people are the cure. And you know what? Every now and then, you’ll meet people who remind you of the one that has been taken away. Find relief in this, take it as a sign that those who pass away, will never truly be gone.      

a walking contradiction

If you read this piece of homework for a while, then you might notice that some statements I make will contradict the ones I made earlier. Does this mean I am crazy and incoherent? Before you answer’ yes, absolutely’, please mind that this was a rhetorical question.
Similar to this blog I am a walking contradiction. And I wouldn’t want it any other way. No need to fear: this does have a practical use.
Everyone is different, therefore every reader may put other theories into practice. Or, they may find comfort or amusement in different passages.
 So if one of my posts doesn’t suit you, then there is a chance that one of my next posts will apply on you. Take what you need, and forget the junk. 
Also keep in mind that I took up a lot of these insights during my journeys. Some were conjured from a different state of mind. But that doesn’t mean I can leave them out now, just for the sake of coherence. Because who knows… I might have been right all along. And if not, well, as long as it entertains you, then I’ll be more than happy.

If however, you take offence in my wordplays and bad jokes, then I will kindly escort you back to your favorite cats and hats page. It looks like sombrero’s are the theme of the month;  arriba, arriba.  

schni schna schnappi

On one of my early travels, I met someone who introduced me to the concept ‘snap decisions’.

I can’t say that I actively practice this principle, which is unfortunate, but I still like to share it with you.  The idea behind snap decisions is easy: the first thought that comes up in your mind is usually the best. And at this moment I am trying my best not to type down the cliché that a man (such as myself) thinks about sex once every seven seconds. For the curious people, achieving something like that is impossible (the once every seven seconds rule). But false stereotype or not, our thoughts run rampant on a very fast pace. So if you are deciding on something, it first passes through the instinct phase. And instinct is a powerful thing. It kept our ancestors alive long enough to make a statement.
But then other thoughts come by: our logical thinking, the conventions we are taught, and so on. And on many occasions,  the best decisions in life aren’t the ones that fitted logic or the socially acceptable.  Don’t believe me? Oh, well, do you remember that children’s game:
a person asks you questions in a quick pace. You have to answer the first thought that comes up in your mind. It was a simplest lie detector you can imagine. But it worked.

Even in professional situations, people use snap decisions, their subconscious mind already knows the procedure, so they don’t waste time on thinking things over.  

I must admit, it isn’t easy to lock on to your very first thought, if you hesitate too long, that idea will be already filtered at least once. But humor me and give it a try. Start light and see where it takes you. Don’t think, act. True, it might result in some unusual situations, but whatever the outcome will be, at least you’ll have a nice story to tell me. (and it also saves you time on agonizing over and over again ‘shoud I’, ‘what if’, and ‘oh only if I had…’ Have fun.

 This message by the way is posted without any second thoughts.  Was it worth your while? 

timeshifting

·            -  No I don’t have a copy of the bible.

-             *  Why not?

·           - I don’t read nun fiction

*badum tsss*

Okay, this was officially my worst joke ever. Thanks for enduring it.
The point I was about to make, is that I usually hate non fiction, due to its writing style. 

There is however one book, that I loved reading, and it is also be suitable for this blog/homework.

No worries, I’m not getting a percentage out of it. I just think it was a really nice read.

Time Shifting - Stephan Rechtschaffen

The idea is simple: if you’re anxious you live in the future, if you’re melancholic, you live in the past. But what about living in the present? We all have thousands of toughts in our head (wat we still have to do, what we have done).  All tose thoughts make us forget forget, we are actually doing things right now. And those are the things we are in control of. Right now you can chose to focus on it, to fase out, to do anything you want. If you focus more on it, then you can  accomplish more. 

Even when reading this sentence, you might still be thinking about that lame nun fiction joke, or that there are still so many things you could have been doing instead of wasting your time on this message.  And so we shift from present, to past, to future, without actually seizing the moment.

So how about this: take a deep breath and focus only on these words. Minding your breathing is always important, but on an occasions such as this, it helps you  to find your way back to the present. Because no matter what you do, it deservers your undivided attention. Try to open up all of your senses. Take it in: see, feel, know.
- But what about all those things that still need to be done?
Well, when this post is read, you can chose to focus your attention on that, without thinking back on this horrible nun-pun.

Ahem, anyhow. It’s a bit hard for me to explain the essence of the book, but let me just use mr. Rechtschaffen’s example.

He planned a timshifting session with his students on an exotic location. One day they were supposed to journey to a tropical island nearby. But the boat that was supposed to bring them there didn’t show up. So there was a lot of grunting, and wailing, and looking at wristwatches.
That was actually when the time shifting began.
 Mr R. asked those people to look around. And behold: they were already on an exotic location. So what if the boat wasn’t there yet, so what that they weren’t on that particular island. They were already on an exotic location for f*ck sake (forgive me this censorship), the only thing they had to do was to forget about the schedule and enjoy the moment. That is what timeshifting really is about.

Of course there are times that we have to plan for the future, but even then we tend to get distracted. So when planning, also give it your full attention. This is also a way of timeshifting. And believe me, when you open up to the moment, a lot of opportunities will reveal themselves. Things that were always there, right in front of you, but you were too busy to notice.   

Sorry if this post is a bit different than usual. I improvised with cooking today, so blame it on that ;-)

If there are any questions, I’d be happy to reply. That might make it easier to explain this subject. 

crossroads

I like to share a thought of mine, I hope you can squirm into the mindset for just this one post.

There are some speculations going on about destiny. Are our movements already written in the book of life, or do we just perform random acts that seem to fall in place in the end as we try to make a pattern out of it? There is no easy answer on this one, although many would like to prove me wrong.
Anyhow, I once had my fortune told in a rather unique situation (No further comment; let’s just say nothing good happens after 3 AM ;-). Strangely enough, most of the predictions came to pass.  So in a way I believe that  we are predestined to do great things. But that doesn’t mean those things will happen automatically. I see life more as a journey over a scenic route. There’s always something to see if you take your time to stop and breathe in the atmosphere. For a certain time your route is fixed. You may anticipate things that will cross your path as you carry on. But more than occasionally you will stand before a crossroad. At that point you have to make a choice. Left, right, straight on…  It is then, that we are in control of our route. What do you want to see, who will you meet. Sometimes you might get lost or encounter a detour. After we pick the direction, we head on straightforward until we end up at the next crossroad. And in the end it doesn’t matter how quick you wind up at your final destination. It’s more about how you enjoyed it, and what kind of stories you have to tell. So if you ever get there, feel free to bring me a little souvenir. Happy trails.    

enjoy the little things

It’s not always easy. Sometimes embracing life may feel like giving the middle finger to every fuzzy thing with (or without) a heartbeat. If you experience this on a holiday, then it might be jetlag. But there are times you’re just pissed at the world. At moments like these you are given an opportunity. Either you sulk, wrap yourself up in all the blankets you find, and numb your mind with brainless movies. And believe me, it can do some real goo-hood.

Of course, there is always an alternative. In this case it is to find the smaller things in life that can make you smile. Focus on it and really enjoy the little things in life. Look around, there are so many ‘mundane’ pleasures we take for granted. When in a pesky mood, even the smallest treat can shatter your melancholy. Okay, I admit, I am being too optimistic. But every bit of relief you get, will leave a small crack in your dark mood. And with every strike through your melancholy, more and more nice things will become visible.

Now don’t get me wrong: I’m  not giving you permission to enjoy one hundred little pieces of chocolate or a similar amount of whiskydrops. The trick is to just savor all of your senses. Let time stop;  just take notice of the sensations you feel right now when indulging your treat, whatever it is. Food is an obvious choice, but it’s not the only possibility. Think about a walk outside with the wind in your back, a childhood cartoon/comic book (oh sweet nostalgia) or pictures from travels or parties. Drop all other things that might distract you from the moment and just feel. Hell, why don’t you just call a long lost friend and just listen to his/her voice: let them speak. Anyhow, the possibilities are limitless, but when in a foul mood, a lot of those options are shaded. Hence the art of discovering just one of those possibilities and to be grateful for the comfort, or the peace of mind, it offers.     

It can go further than implementing this on your own self. Why not try this on someone who needs your help? Offer them a little source of happiness. Sometime that’s all they need. And let me tell you. There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a sulk turn into a smile. (Although I might prefer a smirk). 

the gauntlet

There’s nothing like a good challenge.
To challenge someone, or to become challenged… it can  provide the best excuse to get things done.  Of course I’m not talking about challenging others to a mortal combat, or daring someone into running through the office in their underwear. Although, while reading this,  you might imagine a few co-workers who’d be perfect for that challenge.
Let’s keep it simple. See it more into this context:
you are talking with someone, when suddenly they say:
“Oh I have always wanted to…”

This can happen when you were talking about your hobbies or travels, or just something you’ve seen on the news. But whatever triggers that line: keep one ear open for it.
It’s up to you now to give a good response will be: “so why don’t you?”
Usually there will be a half hearted excuse “Oh well…"
So you give them a direction, a practical approach. This is easier than it seems, trust me. Don’t start too big, but be sure that the challenge will provide some thrill when accomplished. If you have knowledge about the subject, even better, you can give some extra advice and perhaps tell your conversation partner how you experienced it. 

And when that person is scratching his or her chin . You go in for the catch:

“Come on, I challenge you. You have /insert date here/ to finish it.”

“err”

“shake on it?”

“sure, why not…”

Again, set a realistic challenge, an acceptable difficulty level, and a reasonable deadline. Not to forget: underline the fun factor.  Who knows, you just might have given that person the push in the back he/she needed.

To keep it fair: allow yourself also to become challenged. Just don’t do get pushed into doing things you really don’t want to. And don’t forget to give your support. What comes easy for you might prove challenging for others.

This year alone I have challenged 6 people of various nationalities to start writing their very first short story. The  answer usually was “Cool , I’ve always wanted to do that.”
As for me: I got recently challenged to write a short horror story about an undertaker. I rang a friend who knew one, asked if I’d get a tour. And started writing. If it goes well, I might have to read the story for radio. Fingers crossed.
Of course I won’t take on every challenge they give me. And to be fair I do have chickened out one an occasional dare. But hey, on other opportunities, much to everybody’s surprise I agreed. Bungee jumping, biking though the mountains of Spain, naked sauna, talk to a certain person in particular, a trip to the unknown…
Can’t say I regret any of those. So don’t give up, keep me and the others on the edge. More importantly: allow yourself to be given a push in the back.    

And so the gauntlet is thrown. Give it a try, you never know where you might end up.

Don't assume two much

Hi there, I might have been going a bit too technical on the last text (ironically, that is just an assumption). But I think you might care for a few personal examples. Warning, long post coming up.

The first batch is where negative assumptions are made:

This can be anything. For example, when I first started my new job,  I thought I was hopelessly out of place. Everybody seemed to know everything, while I was just the rookie that annoyed everybody with his silly questions. Of course after a while (about 8 months to be precise) things were getting more smoothly. I could lay connections knew who to ask what and got the knowhow to make decisions for myself.  Of course I still have a lot to learn.  When talking to some coworkers  now, I realized that a lot of people had a similar way of dipping into the job. They too had doubts,  they too are still trying to get better.  While talking to others I also discovered that they were much more than meets the eye. But my mind was clouded with presumptions on how they behaved, and with the gossip that seeps to every sport of the corporate ladder.

Or take this blog as an example: I make the assumption that nobody reads this, and that my words really don’t have any impact. Still I keep on writing. Because who knows, It might work for someone, right?

Need more? Here’s a third  example: people.
When I was traveling alone, I wound up with a group of party people. You know: the ones you see on TV or find on places like Ibiza and Ko Phangan. As I mentally prepared myself for mind numbing days filled with “woohoo” screaming people, comatose drinkers, and conversations with holes in it the size of Uranus… those people found a way to surprise me. Before their nights of celebration, and also in the quiet hours before dawn, they settled down and shared some of their wisdom, doubts and deepest thoughts with me. And let me tell you this: the saying “never judge a book by its cover” contains much truth. (Even though there still was a fair share of “woohoo-ing” :-)

Now an example how positive assumption can be bad. This is quite general, but let’s just say albeit I’m quite positive minded.  Okay, that sounded a bit doubtful, but it is true. I generally have the idea that whatever happens, things will turn out to be okay. The only problem there is: if I think that too much, I slack down on fixing the problems since they are ‘just a phase’. This already has cost me dearly on some occasions.
But don’t take this last example too much into consideration. Even though it might turn out badly, much more opportunities will rise when you think: sure this will turn out okay. (It also reduces your worries.) And there always will be things that are indeed out of your control.

 Side note one:
Do not confuse this post with ‘gut feeling’ and ‘intuition’. Sometimes you actually get a bad feeling or a positive vibe out of someone/ something.  Always keep those thoughts in the back of your head and be the judge about it yourself. But take it from me: you can’t go on purely on gut-feeling, since you will miss out new experiences by remaining conservative.

  Side note two.

“We are meaning making machines” is a line that came from Chris Jones’ teaching ‘manifesting success’. It is was a brilliant way of telling the audience that we make too many assumptions, turning events into personal stories, going overtime on connecting dubious thoughts just so that they can fit into our way of perceiving the world. Interesting stuff, Maybe one day I’ll give you an extract of this speech, if he agrees.

Now  go on and make some new discoveries, allow yourself to be surprised. 

never assume anything

Okay… the title might be a bit extreme, but admit it: you aren’t a mind reader. 
If you think you are, then quickly think about the number I am thinking of…
If you thought it was the number 69, then congratulations: you are a mind reader and this message will not apply for you. Carry on reading my mind instead of this blog.

But let’s play along and say that you didn’t guess it. Then allow me to repeat: we can’t read people’s minds.
 Still we make assumptions how people think about us. True, sometimes we have good reasons to validate this: hints, predictable behavior… But do you really know what others are thinking? The answer is no.  Don’t  jump into conclusions that people are thinking bad about you, or care nothing about you. Truth is: generally people tend to think about themselves. Not that they are selfish. No (well, some are)  but even more than with actual conversations, people listen the strongest to their inner dialogue. On our turn, we convey this inner dialogue to other people when we try to measure them up. The only problem is: different people means different dialogues. So you can assume that the first thought you have about someone has a real chance to be false.  
As Chris Jones once said ‘we are all meaning-making-machines’. And he is right,  we connect imaginary dots in order to let it fit with our inner dialogue. If that dialogue is bad, then you make bad connections to people, even when they weren’t thinking about you.  So how do you know for sure? Step up to them and socialize. It’s amazing how your idea can change just by addressing others.

I  too have misjudged people, situations , reactions, and feelings. And probably I will keep on doing that on some occasions. But let me tell you what: the best and most surprising conversations I had, were with people I initially misjudged. Even the most shallow behaviour or stereoptype can hide a much deeper meaning. So go ahead and give it a try, you will be surprised too, once you cast aside your presumptions and connect with people open mindedly.

One little side notice: misjudging positively can also have consequences, it usually falls under the category overconfidence or naivety. 
So try to see everything as if you saw it for the first time. And if things are unclear: ask.  

Oh and please don’t remind me of the irony. I am well aware of the fact that I make a hell of a lot presumptions while writing these texts.  Then again: I always was better with irony than with ironing. 

personal skills

We have a different set of skills. We are all capable of doing amazing things, even though some other perks seem to elude us. Even if you may think that nasal milk propelling is disgusting, some take great pride it in. Aaanyhow, what seems challenging for one person, may be child’s play for another. So don’t be discouraged if things don’t work out immediately. When everything seems to go wrong, maybe you’re just in a place that requires other skills. Find your natural habitat and develop the things you are good at. But please keep in mind that it takes years to master a skill, so don’t give up too easily.
How do you know what your skill is? 
If things come easily for you, where others struggle, if there are things you can’t stop doing (except for breathing and sleeping) , than you just might have discovered a new skill. Cultivate it, if you like doing it that won't be a problem. And please, never take it for granted. This is who you are, this is why people would admire you. 

let me out!

So did you like the tricks for keeping up the buzz? Don't be shy, it’s just you and me here.

Allow me to take this occasion to ask a blunt question. Do you feel that grinding feeling in the back of your head? A gnawing sensation that doesn’t want to go away. That is your adventurous spirit locked up in conventions. It tries to break open the boundaries you’ve put up throughout the years. It wants to destroy the walls that keep you in your comfort zone. The sooner you listen to this roll call, the faster the magic can happen. Please, don’t be frightened. Most actions that prompt you to leave the comfort zone require a low risk.

Believe me, even I try to wreck the walls around me. And yes, sometimes those walls are thicker than my own skull, but sometimes you can break trough. And once you scratch the surface, a whole new world will open up. Will it be worth it? There’s only one way to find out. Let me know how it went, even it was just you saying yes to something you have postponed so many times before.

Or maybe you’re just waiting for my example? Well that’s easy: this blog.

I’m usually not the type that shows off with an opinion. I’d rather write horror. But ever since I’ve started this homework, the words keep flowing. So you tell me: is it a good thing to follow the buzz? 

to do list (part two)

Back again? How was it outside? Please do tell.
Anyway, back to the list:

DO (part two… heh, that rhymes)

1)      Live now. 

Yesterday is dead and gone, while tomorrow is still beyond your grasp. If things have to happen, then now is the time. Everything else is still far away. So take the opportunities that are offered this moment… I guess that’s why they call it ‘present’. 

2)      Never postpone.

 If things bother you or need to be done: face them. This too is living in the present; this too is leaving your comfort zone. 

Of course if you are reading this tip at an unholy hour, then it might be sensible to postpone. The neighbors might get suspicious if you’d go out at 3 a.m. to trim your hedges.

3)      When feeling a bit sad or ill, do things slower. But at least do SOMETHING. 

As the saying goes: If you can’t run, walk, If you can’t walk, crawl.
Allow me to add: if you’re tired: sleep (unless of course you are the operator of a moving vehicle. Not to worry: I am not insulting your intelligence here, I’m just saving my skin against stupid lawsuits ;-) 

4)      Save money on small things, but never scrooge out of a new experience because it might cost money.

Meaning? Well, how about you buy the cheap drink or snack once every while instead of your usual wallet buster. So you can put aside the money you save.  Keep it for those special occasions: whenever an unforgettable opportunity may rise, you’ll already have the budget to go for it. Money may fade but exciting memories will remain, forever stuck within a smiling mouth that says: ‘no regrets’

5)      However: before you spend an entire budget on a sports-car bungee jump (oh I want to do that again), keep in mind that: all play and no work make Jack a poor guy. Most of us mortals work to keep up a certain standard, especially when you are responsible for other people. But that doesn’t mean you have to let go every single dream. Some people live to work, others work to live. Know the difference.

6)      Always keep a notebook at hand. Just in case. You never know what (or who) might inspire you along the way. Plus: never underestimate the power of doodling.

7)      NEVER think you are above (or below) something! 

Those two states of mind are excuses not to do anything. They narrow you down. So no matter how muscled, or how rich, or how tattooed you might be, if a kid hands you a pink plastic toy phone, you’ll answer the damn thing. 

8)      Never be too busy. There is always some time for special things.

Whether it is throwing a smile to someone who needs it, or taking a minute to discover an interesting fact. As long as you’re not defusing a bomb, a few moments of your time won’t hurt.

That’s about it: my three lists that can help you to keep up the buzz. Thank you for letting me share this with you. So go on, try out a few things and tell me how they went. Maybe I’ll even drag myself out of this old weary couch and pick up where I finished. Better yet:  just drag me along the journey.

Cheers

to do list (part one)

With the weekend getting closer, I think it’s safe to annoy you with another list. You're almost there now,  so bear with me. You can surf back to your favorite cats and hats website any moment now. 
But first: the final two parts of the list… 

If you put all those lists  together, you might imagine why I haven’t already tried out everything yet. But like I told you before: give it a try. Some resulted in interesting experiences. Most of them came naturally; I just needed a little push.

DO (part one)

1)      Do something cultural. There is so much more to see than fifty shades of hay. 

Even though not every cultural activity will be satisfying, it’s worth the risk. Some projects will make you think, while other expand your experiences. Why not bring a friend along to discuss it afterward, or share the agony?
And hey, if you’re on a holiday you do visit museums and attend shows, almost at a daily basis, so why not support your local cultural movement? You might run into some interesting people.

2)      Listen to reggae (or whatever music reminds you of that wonderful time you had on your holiday).  

Sometimes all you need is a certain sound or a melody to be carried back into the bliss of times long gone. So if you want to feel great, put on a song that was playing when you felt great. Your brain will remember the feeling that went with it. Of course under no circumstances can I advice you to play the soundtracks from the sound of music (or sister act). There is something unsettling about singing nuns.

3)      Make pictures that anchor a good state of mind. This can be done not only on a holiday, but just as well back home.
Too often people make bland pictures of their companions, or worse themselves (thank you very much shelfy shtick), striking a pose next to ancient monuments without understanding the meaning or the history behind those structures; putting up a big grin to show the home front how much 'fun' they’re having… ugh, forgive my rant.
Why not make pictures of things that made you smile? Capture memories of things or people who gave you the feeling of tranquility/bliss/whatever. Keep those pictures close to you, and whenever you feel down, look at them again. Fragments of those previous feelings will come back to you.

4)      Turn off the TV/computer. Tune in on what/who is outside.  

We’re all gazing too much at the bits and bytes that lie between the four corners of our electronic devises. But the world they show is seldom real. It is directed, censored, or filtered at best. If you want to be informed about something: experience it, or talk to those who have. It may change your view on the world drastically.
Or is it entertainment you seek? Plenty of entertainment outside, if you learn how to look for it. Just try it, everything’s a game. I’m not kidding: try, stop reading these words and experience it firsthand. I’ll wait… still waiting… come on go! Your people need you. 

5)      GET OUT THERE!

black c@s

Heyhey, almost there: the second friday the thirteenth this year is getting near. A good opportunity to test this theory.

Have you ever had the feeling that the world is out to get you? Or perhaps you consider yourself lucky for all the good things that happen to you? 

I’m just making a guess here, so please high and mighty spaghetti monster, don’t smite me for making the following statement:
Don’t rely too much on karma. Good things, bad things… they all happen to anybody. We’ve all had our share of lucky breaks or black cat antics. The only difference is how we view them.

If you focus long enough on the misfortune that tends to stalk you, then you might miss out on how fortunate you actually are. Just try to put things in perspective. Sometimes you might think that happiness only falls upon the people around you, but you have no idea what they have been through to get this far. And neither will anyone know how close you are to achieve your dreams.

I for my part consider myself lucky, even though I have faced my share of broken mirrors, I can’t complain. Good things seem to follow me around. Opportunities, lucky breaks… but there is a risk in thinking this way. 

By deeming yourself (un)lucky you tend to put more weight into things that happen outside your doing. This might result in you staring at the ceiling, just waiting for your next four leaf clover in order to get things going. Truth is (according to me), that you have more power over the things that happen.
For example I consider myself lucky for knowing so many wonderful people, they just happen to cross my path. But is every encounter I have nothing more than coincidence? Probably it’s because of the way I act, that allows some people linger (or others to run away screaming).
Usually those ‘lucky breaks’  happen because we say yes.
Of course, bad things happen too. Sometimes you really are at a the bad place at the worst time. That counts for anybody: the good, the bad, and the fluffy. We can't always navigate ourself out of trouble, but we do have something to say about the course we take after that. The power is yours.

Naturally if I’d get stuck by lightning on the day I win the lottery, just minutes before boarding my flight around the world, then I stand corrected. But until this happens: humor me and think about it.      

one small step

With the previous post in mind I’d like you to think about something.

There is an event in Luxemburg that is called ‘the procession of Echternach’.
It is known for the way how people walk it: two steps forward, and one step back.  

Don’t you sometimes feel the same way? With every progress you make, something pushes you back. At times it just seems too hard to keep on walking against the currents. We’ve all been there. Some give up, while others gnash their teeth and try to keep up the pace.
In order to keep going, we all look up to our fellow people, to role models, characters in a book or a movie,  even to gods. We see their accomplishments and think ‘wow, if only I could be like this’.
 But what we rarely see is their struggle. They too walk against the current. And few people know how many years it took them to get that one single accomplishment done. There are many roads to success. But no matter which one you chose, or how long it will take, it always starts with a single step. And remember: it’s usually just before the finish line that exhaustion and doubts start to act op. So go on, give it just another go. You are almost there.   And even if you don’t notice it. Every small step forwards does help.

does it matter?

We all have our doubts sometimes, especially when we do things with uncertain results.Take this blog for example.  Will people read it and if yes, would they like it? I’m no expert in this line of work, no bachelors degree on mindfulness hangs on my wall. Do people actually care?  Still I keep on writing. Why? Well, you’re reading this, so that already means a lot to me. And who knows maybe you or someone out there really finds comfort in these words. If I can at least reach out to that person, then all this effort will be worth it. One person can make a huge difference; since  everybody is connected with others. So if you are this person, thanks for reading. I’ll do my best for you.

And if you aren’t that person, you can always take a lesson from this: try your best to help at least one person. Make him or her smile. One small effort every day can matter. Because every individual counts.    

is that a squirrel?

With the weekend approaching, perhaps filled with happy sounds of a carnival,  this would be an appropriate time to post this.

Distractions are everywhere. Take it from this easily distracted… hey is that a squirrel? … Ahem, anyhow...  Albeit we succeed in accomplishing our tasks, even if we sometimes ‘bend the deadlines.’

However, every now and then the distractions become too much for us. Some are welcome, while others aren’t. You can ignore it at first, but if the distraction persists, phasing out might become impossible… for the moment. Then it’s up to you to make a choice. Move away from the distractions, or join them. 
Like I said, there are good and bad distractions. If your kid desperately wants to play outside with you, well why don’t you? If the music from the parade just down the street is becoming too loud, why not have a look? If thoughts of one certain person keep you from crunching numbers, why not give him/her a call?

Of course we all have our responsibilities. So please don’t use my mumblings as an excuse to procrastinate even more. And for Jebus’ sake put down your Smartphone or computer. You must have something more important  to do, right? 
 

In order not to end this post with me nagging away, I’ll leave you with this thought:

When there’s too much noise to sleep or work: join the party, and be the last one who leaves it. Have fun.

And here’s a quote from my number one romantic movie:

All work and no play make Jack a dull guy. All work and no play make Jack a dull guy. All work and no play make Jack a dull guy. All work and no play make Jack a dull guy. All work and no play make Jack a dull guy. All work and no play make Jack a dull guy. All work and no play make Jack a dull guy… 

schedules

Heyhey… hay… ugh… bloody hay fever.

True, I would love to do something different right now; anything but writing a blog. Something like lying down cozy under a warm blanket, with a hot drink, and slowly dissolve into the land of dreams… Just before the snotflood is about to erupt.

But, I made a deal: every day I must post a message for this blog (except in the weekend… results may vary then). So here we are again. 
This message is more or less for me right now, but feel free to take it in anyway (not the snot by the way).  

*Ahem* Do not focus too much on a rigorous schedule. Every day offers an opportunity to make progress, no matter how little.

I can’t remember if I said this already or not, but here it goes anyway:

If you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, crawl. And if you can’t crawl? Make yourself comfortable and enjoy your day off. Sometimes the greatest ideas come when you least expect them. Just don’t slack down too much. Because we all know how quickly we can let a ‘meh’ feeling last for days. Progress will happen one way or the other. Be ready for it.

Now if anybody of you out there is skilled in giving a head massage, I’ll be happy to receive one. If not, then carry on your business and don’t mind the blobs of sneeze on this side of the screen. 

the people's list (part two)

Welcome back, did you get dizzy by reading the big list? 

Cool, since you’re still here that means you are intrigued, just as I expected you to be.

PEOPLE (part two)

5         Ask a random person if he/she can learn you something.
Or suggest if he/she can show it you. You can even ask if you are allowed to tag along for just a brief period. Every person has a certain set of skills; things they do with a natural ease. Learn from them. You might not entirely grasp that skill, but it can be an interesting experience. So don’t mind the laughter, everybody had to start at that point. And the more you walk in other people’s shoes, the more your own world opens up.

6         Help people without giving them money (or expecting it).

Money is tricky: it (usually) requires little effort to change hands, and offers a rather impersonal solution. Instead, why not lend a hand? Perhaps your specific skill or knowledge is just the thing they need. And gratitude can go further than just some ‘paperwork’. Do keep in mind though to choose your ‘battles’ wisely. You can’t help everybody. But every once and a while a shoulder to cry on, or to know the right person, or that nugget of advice can do wonders. 

7         No matter how hardworking you are, everybody needs a break.

 This is the perfect opportunity to sit next to a co-worker you haven’t talked to in a while. Ask if you’re not interrupting and start talking/listening. Sometimes you’ll be amazed how much you have in common with someone without knowing it. Why? Because usually we only talk about work or things we’ve seen on the news. Pick another subject. But remember that the workplace is a strange environment: be wary about gossip.

8         Never think about how you look, or how others might see you.

This is just your perception and imagination talking. The truth is that you can never tell how people really think about you. Besides, your image is subjected to change anyway: internally and externally. So why cram yourself into a pose that might as well do the opposite as you intended? You look best when your apparel and behavior comes naturally. Of course if you are a couch potato like me, well, then it might be best to start living more healthy. And yes, I know: the ‘real you’ might scare off a crowd. But it will as well attract the people you feel most comfortable with. Think about who you are and what you have already accomplished. Be proud.

9         Enjoy, smile, reach out and be reached. LOOK!
Mind the details and use them to make conversations go smooth. In the beginning it will be hard, but after a while, things will feel more natural.  And there always are places, people, or mindsets where you can connect more easily, start there and expand your territory.

Hey, you made it through the list. There’s one more coming up, but I’ll publish that one within a few days. Because life isn’t all about following guidelines and lists. Although they might offer something to hold on to. If however, these things come natural for you, by all means, find your own way. It’s usually more fun to do these discoveries first hand. 

the people's list (part one)

Oh hey; here you are. How’s it going?

This might be a good time to warn you: there is another list coming up, and it’s a big one. Just like the list of exploring, I’ll present you a few pointers to keep up the buzz. This time the focus is on people. 

Please keep in mind, that these lists are not obligatory. Neither shall I claim that they change your life forever. These outlines are just made from personal notes I took during my journey. Insights I like to share with you. Anyhow, on to the subject: 

PEOPLE (part one)

1)         Talk/meet with someone you haven’t seen in a while.
How many times haven’t you communicated with somebody (by internet, or phone), having a great time and ending with the sentence: we should definitely meet up (again) some time.
Some time… you know where this is going, right?
Why not actually plan and set a date to meet?
Or how many times haven’t you thought: gee, I wonder how person x is doing?
Well, why not give a call? The worst you can end up with is a wasted day (or an answering machine). The best: a rekindled friendship. So don’t assume already that they’d say no, or are too busy for you. Because even if they do, you can always suggest another day to meet. True, sometimes there is a reason why you don’t see face to face anymore. Or maybe it really is impossible to arrange something. But come on: that’s just one person in your entire contact history. Plenty more where those came from.  Speaking of contact history: how many facebook friends do you have? How long has it been since you saw them last? Time to meet him, her, or them irl at least once more.
Oh, they have children now; so what? Be the first one to teach those tiny humans dirty words, or show them how to propel milk from your nose. Hell, why don't you teach me those things?

2)         Pimp your contacts: get more freaky friends.
How?  Ask to be introduced to new people.
Then again: who needs asking, when the internet is full of freaky friends :-)
Freaky friends? Hmm, I guess a little explanation is needed. I’ve got that word from Tom Peters. Basically, that’s how he calls people with unconventional ideas, big dreams, and an interesting way to look at things. Because admit it, sometimes we all tune in to hear those unusual conversations between ‘freaky’ friends.
But what about the others? Should you abandon all your 'normal' friends, just to be dragged along on a crazy misadventure? Of course not, but why not have the best of both worlds? I know for sure that there is a synergy between those two types of people, up to you to discover it.   

3)         Talk to random people.
Try to keep up the conversation as long as possible, ask people what thrives/drives them, what is their goal, their passion. Don’t intervene: let them talk, just listen. Mind the spark in their eyes when they talk about things that make them who they are.
How? It all starts with wone simple word: 'hi' perhaps followed by 'how are you doing?' True, getting those lines from a stranger might freak some people out. But others are waiting for that simple word.
But how, who? Usually the answer is in the details: do you notice something about these persons? Is there a hint that can start a conversation? Start fishing. And most importantly: listen.
Okay, I admit, this one is really hard for me too. And scouts honour, I will start talking to random people,  just when I can find myself a bit more c-c-c-ccourage. 

Anyhow, look at it this way: we are surrounded by people. Every day we wait in line, sit in a train, fart in the elevator, work our asses off in a company full of people we don’t really know. At best we nod when we pass (at worst they pinch their noses). But we often wonder: what is this person thinking? should I talk to him or her?
In the end our lips remain sealed. Silently cursing another missed opportunity.
And yet, when we’re on a holiday, things are different. Abroad I try to chat up with everybody.
How come? Are people at home more narrow minded? Definitely not. There were times when I had vivid conversations at home, on the train, at work… and you could see other people leaning in to listen, eager to open their mouth, ready to join in. What if we let them? Break the barriers.

4)         Bring the conversation to the core: it’s all about fun or topics with a deeper meaning.

When the conversation starts, slowly steer it away from the safe subjects (work, the weather, family) and reel it into new exciting topics. People are just as bored as we are by the same old safe subjects, we all wait for the bait, to say what really goes on in that head of ours. Ask cheeky questions and have an interesting opinion. Say something you’ve always wanted to say. Worst case scenario? The person might get offended.
So what? I have experienced many regrets not asking people what really inspires them; the results could have been breath taking.

Phew halfway down the ‘people’ list. How about we have a breather. I’ll see you for the other half, right after these commercials.