emotions on demand

Well, won’t you look at that; my very first request. Cool, you’re reaching out.

“Please write a blog post on how to control/kill/ignore emotions.”

Whew, that’s not an easy one.  But before I give you an answer, please mind that I’m not a real ‘expert’. I have no scholar training about the matters of the mind. Still, if you like my answers, feel free to try them out. Besides being a dreamer, I’m also a logic thinker. So you might find some of my comments useful. And since it’s free of fee and free of Prozac, it can’t hurt to try. Please let me know how it went.  

Now, about emotions.

First of all: do NOT kill emotions. You are a human being. Your emotions, make you who you are. And even if some of those emotions might be hindering you, they make you act out the way you do. And that’s not always a bad thing. We all sometimes feel that our emotions drag us down, but on other occasions they lift us up and make us enjoy the moment.  Life  = emotion.

Of course if the emotions trouble you too much, then there are ways of dealing with them. You can numb them. And believe me there are many ways to do that. BUT that is not a good thing. If every time you grab to that easy way out solution, you’ll develop a habit, which in its turn may turn into an addiction. But yeah, I understand, sometimes you just need a quick way to unwind, but please be careful, things can become a habit/addiction much quicker than we’d know.   

So what are the alternatives? There are many, but let me start out this blog with only three.

The first one is to allow the emotions get to you. Someone once told me that emotions are like a wave that is about to flush over you. You can stop this wave of emotions, but the more you resist them, the bigger the wave is going to become, until you can no longer stop it. The solution: if you feel  a wave coming up, close your eyes, take a deep breath and just let it flow. Don’t fight it, don’t try to grasp it, just know that the emotions if coming up and let it brush past you.  You have feelings, you are human, and you do have a choice not to be swept away by the wave. Just stand tall, it will pass, new and better emotions will follow.

The best way to do this is when you are alone in a quiet place (and not operating heavy machinery, or in a cockpit… ouch… To soon?) The point is, everybody has a good memory of a place/time where you were happy or calm. Recalling that memory when emotions run rampant will assist you in soothing down.

For example, when I was in Ireland I had a tough time advancing, due to strong wind (currents that is; nothing to do with beans in tomato sauce). Despite the beautiful weather, the wind pounded down merciless, you could even see birds being blown back in the sky. I wanted to push further but the wind kept hammering down on me.  I had to stop. Luckily next to the road there were small  stone walls (about 30 centimeters high: the famine walls). I jumped over the wall, and lay down in the grass just next to it. The wind kept roaring on but thanks to the wall it couldn’t touch me (yet I could still enjoy the sunshine). And with the wind, all my thoughts were carried away, allowing me to be present in the moment, and to enjoy a few precious moment of serenity. After  the wind smoothened, I got up  and continued my way.  All it took were 10 minutes. And you know what? Sometimes, when emotions tend to go berserk within me (as I am a writer, that does tend to happen), I think back on that moment in Ireland. I t does help. Just like the wind before, I let my troubles blow over that 30 centimeter high famine wall, as I enjoy the sunshine and the scenery.  And when the storm is over, I carry on.

A second possibility, is to indulge to your emotions. You have them for a reason. You need to process it. If you’re sad, listen to sad music, If you’re hopelessly romantic, watch a good chick flick with a bucket of ice cream and let the tears just flow. If you’re angry, punch a pillow. If you’re happy and you know it… clap your hands. If you feel pretentious: write a blog.

It helps, just be sure that these solutions are short timed.  It’s a helpful way to break down the biggest wave. After that, it is up to you to carry on.

But how? Well, try rationalize them. We are all following instincts, patterns and social programming. Analyze it, what makes you tick. What causes those feelings, are they rational, do they also occur in other situations? Can we turn them into good use?

Lastly: never underestimate the power of people. When I feel down I’ll try to meet up again with people. Not to pour all my troubles over them, but just to have a good time. Other people, other  situations, a change of scenery can help you put things into perspective. And yes, sometimes a shoulder to cry on can also help. But never forget that the real problem solver is, and has always been, you.